After, at the live reveal, Clare takes the stage and tells everyone that she’s doing good. “I should have left. My gut was right on, I should have left.”
“Going into this, I wanted to come into this with such an open heart. Let my guard down. And I trusted the process of it. I thought there was a man here that wanted what I wanted – who was serious about finding love and finding marriage. And I just wanted to have hope for it.”
Chris Harrison then asks if she wants to confront Juan Pablo, but she says no. “I don’t want to sit here on this couch and get fed anymore BS,” and everyone cheers because YAY BRAINS!
Finally, it’s Juan Pablo’s time for the stage. The applause audibly diminishes, which is a little awkward. He tells Chris that he’s feeling relieved, and that he made the decision that he felt was right. Chris then begins to speak and Juan Pablo apparently isn’t finished: “Can I talk?” he says, and the audience gasps a little because HOW DARE YOU TALK TO CHRIS LIKE THAT.
When asked about what he said to Clare, Juan Pablo remarks that it’s “private,” and that he wouldn’t talk about it.
Then Juan Pablo exits and it’s Nikki’s turn. “I’m great, glad it’s over,” she says before responding, “No not that way!” and yep, they’re still dating.
Chris presses her on whether he’s said he loves her to her yet, and it’s clear that he hasn’t, but Nikki says that they’re “really happy” and “he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t care about me” and “I’m not going to force it” and “it’s in the things he does” so yeah, someone’s delusional.
It keeps getting weirder when Juan Pablo comes out to join Nikki.
Chris: “How do you feel about her”
Juan Pablo: “I feel great! Like I said!”
Chris: “Do you love her?”
Juan Pablo: “I’m not going to ask that question to you.”
(Audience dies inside.)
“We’re done with this show, we’re happy to be a part of it.”
“This is the good part!” Chris says, trying to explain to Juan Pablo why it’s weird that he doesn’t want to share anything with the audience when it comes to his relationship and feelings. “This is what this show is about. I’m speaking for everyone who’s dying right now and throwing things at their television.”
Other Chris Harrison gems while trying to talk to Juan Pablo who just keeps repeating the word “private,” as if he didn’t sign up for a reality TV show:
“I don’t know what I’m looking at.”
“It’s so awkward cause we can’t have a conversation.”
“12 years I’ve been doing this!”
“Well, good on you guys.”
“We’ll just shower that one off.”
“Not gonna lie, I’m OK moving on.”
WE FEEL YOU CHRIS. THAT WAS AWFUL.
Finally, they’re taken off the stage and Andi is revealed as the new Bachelorette. (Surprise! Not!) Chris thanks everyone for joining, including Andi, Clare and Sean, but makes no mention of Juan Pablo or Nikki, because Juan Pablo you might be glad you didn’t “pick” Clare, but I can tell you right now, ABC is probably real sad they picked you.
Hey, ABC: let’s have a re-do. Time to cast a Latina Bachelorette? We’ll help you pick – and don’t worry – we’ll tell you how we really feel while we’re at it.
What did you think of this season of The Bachelor?