The second episode of The Bachelor was one that had us genuinely embarrassed for contestants for a number of reasons. There were wigs, dogs, nudity and drunken yelling – and one girl was sent packing before the rose ceremony EVEN STARTED. Seriously, this episode makes other reality shows look tame.
Clare, the part Mexican 32-year-old who lost her dad to a brain tumor, gets the first one-on-one date and it quickly takes a turn to a one-on-Juan date, as she hitches a ride (blindfolded!) on his back because – SURPRISE! – he took her to a winter wonderland (and didn't want her to fall on the ice). In the middle of Los Angeles.
Clare mentions that she’s so excited for the date and that Juan Pablo smells like “heaven in a bottle,” which is weird because I guess Juan Pablo is a genie. She mentions that she doesn’t go to bars to meet people nor does she do online dating, which is also weird because she has apparently no problem going on a nationally televised show to compete against other women for one man and being vulnerable on TV, but OK.
After some time sledding and good clean fun, they rendezvous in the hot tub, where Clare comes clean about her dad passing away. Juan Pablo makes a lot of “mhmm” noises, which could be him empathizing with her, or could just be because she’s giving him a shoulder massage as she talks. In any case, it’s weird and uncomfortable and you just feel bad because she’s DEFINITELY going to end up showing him that DVD her dad made for her HUSBAND, and it’s going to be so terribly exploitative but whatever, who cares, it’s all for the views right?
Then they make out a bit, because duh they’re in a hot tub and what else is there to do when Juan Pablo is shirtless? They are then treated to a private concert, where they dance in their bathing suits in the cold, because I’m pretty sure Juan Pablo’s contract has him shirtless for a minimum of half the episode. The groping makes me feel like I’m chaperoning an 8th grade dance, but whatever floats your boat, guys.
Read about the rest of the dates (and who went home!) on page 2 >>