Bachelor Recap 4: Juan Huge Mistake

ABC

If I had to describe this episode in one word it would be: tears. There were a lot of tears, a lot of cattiness and a lot of kissing (and not kissing, see below), to make one’s head spin. And Juan’s head did spin, trying to keep all the girls happy.

Chris Harrison begins telling the girls ominously, “there are 13 of you left, so congratulations, you’ve come a long way… but you still have a long way to go.” BUZZKILL CHRIS HAS ARRIVED.

He then tells the girls they’re going to the land of “K-pop,” Korea, which I'm pretty sure no one in that room understood.

Clare, the hot tub girl from Sacramento, yells, “KOREA?! I don’t even have a kimono!” Wrong country and culture, babe, but I’m not expecting a ton from these ladies at this point so…

They get to the hotel and are presented with a date card, with Nikki, the pediatric nurse, lamenting over and over again how she doesn’t want a group date. So obviously, she gets the group date. That’s how that works. The card says “pop” written in really cute handwriting so you know that some 21-year-old production assistant saw that as her opportunity to shine and went with it.

“I’m halfway around the world and spending time with girls who are quite annoying,” Nikki states.

They head out to the date, with the girls again being absurdly brilliant, wondering aloud if maybe it’s something to do with popcorn or making gum even though THEY KNOW IT’S THE LAND OF K-POP. CHRIS HARRISON TOLD THEM THAT BEFORE THEY LEFT. But again, I don’t know why I’m expecting SO much.

“I don’t want to be on a group date. I don’t have to share a lot of things at home, like my boyfriend,” Nikki says. Yeah, pretty sure that’s not how real life works Nikki, but that’s definitely how The Bachelor works, which is what you VOLUNTARILY SIGNED UP FOR. I almost wish someone would put her on a reality version of Sister Wives and then be like HAHAHA DEAL WITH IT, YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT.

They learn that they’re going to be dancing with 2NE1, one of the most famous pop groups in Korea. “They are as big as the Spice Girls,” Juan Pablo states, so we know he’s up on current pop culture.

Find out what happens on the date on page 2 >>

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