Tea with T: Love, Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice




Got issues with sex, love, family, friends, your ex’s new girlfriend, or your nasty boss? Talk to me, hermana

(send email to: advice@latina.com)


DEAR, T: My hermana swears that not wearing underwear has helped her feel free. Is it safe, hygiene-wise, to go commando?  —Captain Underpants

RELATED: Is Your Man a Sex Addict?

HEY, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS: If liberation is what you seek, opt to go sans underwear at bedtime. It can be quite refreshing to feel a cool breeze the way Mother Nature intended against your bare butt, um, skin in the privacy of your own home. Before you completely abandon bikini bottoms and boy shorts, know that your pretty panties absorb sweat (especially cotton ones) and prevent bacteria from sliding its way onto your genitalia. This is especially important if you plan to rock short skirts while commuting via public transportation in NYC or riding a rented bike in Miami.

DEAR, T: My bestie has some serious family problemas that have caused her to become angry and bitter. She lashes out at me and hates on everything that I do. Is it wrong to end our friendship while she’s going through a rough patch? —Good Friend

HEY, GOOD FRIEND: Some friendships have a short shelf life, especially if the relationship is toxic, abusive, or there are trust issues. Here’s what you should know: hurt people—hurt people. So don’t be her emotional punching bag just because she’s got issues. She’s begging for a large dose of “act right.” If you’ve already told your amiga that she’s being bitchy and supercritical and she hasn’t changed, then you don’t need my permission, or anyone else’s to “break up” with her. This could be a temporary split (until she’s able to own her truth) or a permanent one. If she’d like to be down with your #squadgoals, then she’s gotta act the part.

PLUS: 7 Signs He'll Be Bad in Bed

DEAR, T: I’ve been dating this great guy I met on Tinder for six months and he wants to record us having sex. I’ve never done this before and while I’m confident about my body, I am super-nervous about performing on camera. What should I do? —Camera Shy

HEY, CAMERA SHY: I’m all for keeping it popping in the bedroom, with a side order of voyeurism, but six months is way too soon to start playing superstar in a home movie. You hardly know him or the real reason his last relación ended—and he how handled a broken heart. Did he trash her on social media for everyone to see, or simply agree that they weren’t good together? You need to know how he processes things. As Exhibit A, I offer the news story about the jilted guy who was “trying to be hateful” toward his ex and posted their sex video online. Before you roll your eyes in protest, understand that this isn’t an isolated incident. Do yourself a favor and Goolge revenge porn. The Internet streets are littered with footage (and pictures) of naked women who’ve found out the hard way that revenge porn is a real thing. (Case in point: Rob Kardashian leaked Blac Chyna's nude photos on social media, and this woman is the mother of his daughter and former wife-to-be.)  I’m not saying that New Bae is that kinda guy, but intimate videos are more for long-term, committed relationships and even then you should proceed with caution. You need to be vocal and have control. Set some rules about the future of the final cut before show time. Where does this clip live? Is it deleted afterward? Is it shot on your mobile or his? The last thing you want to hear is that he lost his non-password protected phone—with you starring in 21 Hump Street—on the plane.

DEAR, T: I recently had a baby and gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy. My boyfriend says he loves my curves, but how can I believe him when he’s “liking” his skinny exes’ bikini pics on Insta? I wasted two hours following his likes this week. How can I get him to stop? —Jealous Girl

HEY, JEALOUS GIRL: I don’t know if he’s being messy or you’re just sensitive because you haven’t dropped the baby weight yet, but you can do one of two things (or both). One: Stop following him on social and concentrate on your bebé, relationship, and post-baby workout plan. Two: Talk to him about how you feel. Then, mutually decide that you won’t follow your exes on social media or like or comment on photos of half-naked people—unless it’s a baby in a diaper.