I'm having trouble keeping guys interested in me. I don't know why...I mean, I'm pretty enough, have a good sense of humor, and never make the guy sit through the chick flicks my amigas make their novios go see all the time. The last guy I was dating was nice and decent looking, and he even opened car doors for me. That's rare these days. We were doing just fine until I offered to drive for our dates because my car is way nicer than his is. I'm not cool with beaters held together with duct tape and plastic. What gives? Did he really dump me because of the car?
Dear Burning Rubber,
*Blinks* Lemme go slow with this one so you don't miss anything important: Forget the rubber, mi amor. You're burning bridges here left and right. Yes. Yes, he did dump you because of the car comment.
Technically speaking, I could end my column right here because, well, asked and answered! But I feel that you already suspected the problem and didn't know exactly how to ask me how to address it. Remember, you're the one who threw in your concerns about being seen in his beater -- almost as an afterthought, mind you. It's okay, m'ija. I can read between the lines and there's no need to thank me.
Let's look at this from his point of view: He's dating a nice girl who is pretty and funny and likes to see action flicks. SCORE! He's being a gentleman like his mami and papi taught him, and even opening those car doors for his girlfriend. All seems good. Then she (read: you) pops the Dating Bubble of Happiness with one freshly applied acrylic when she (again: you) announces his being sweet enough and nice enough is not as important as keeping up appearances. His car, it seems, has too much duct tape and not shiny new to meet her standards. What's a guy to do?
I'm sure your heart is in the right place and you thought you were suggesting an obvious fix to a problem that needed one. Thing is, he knows his car is a beater. He's probably even met a few girls who refused the first date because of it. No one likes being judged, and no one likes being told they aren't good enough because their bank account isn't big enough to impress the neighbors.
It's time to look yourself in the mirror, amiga, and search for the heart behind the pretty. You're dating life will be all the richer once you stop focusing on the material things in life and putting those before the truly important things in life. -- First comes love...
Pauline Campos is Latina Magazine's #DIMELO advice columnist. Email her your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. Connect with her on her blog, www.aspiringmama.com and follow her on twitter: @pauline_campos.