Dimelo: "Is My Boyfriend Having an Affair With My Best Friend?"

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Dear Pauline,

A few months ago I started receiving anonymous texts saying that my best friend and my boyfriend were messing around. At first, I ignored them, thinking it was a bad joke. But then I started thinking, and friends started talking. I heard from one friend that my best friend has mentioned her "forbidden love" for a man who is in a relationship and has a daughter, which is just like my boyfriend and me. On the same nights he "picks up shifts at work" and I call her to hang out, she says she's busy. And for some reason, two of the most important people in my life always have an excuse for not being in the same space with me at the same time. I've known my girl since we were babies. She's closer to me than my own sisters. And my boyfriend might be a jerk sometimes, but he is the father of my little girl. I don't know if I should ruin a good thing by asking questions or pretend someone isn't trying to tell me something I would rather ignore.—La Textenovela 

Dear Textenovela,

I'm going to be completely up front with you on this one because for a minute I was all “Oh, poor girl!” and then I was Googling "How do you send an anonymous text?" because I didn't realize how enormous the rock I live under actually is. Now that we all know I don't have to walk you through hitting "reply" on an incoming text, we're moving on, M'ija. So let's keep up.

You asked me what you should do. The short answer is: Something. While it's entirely possible you could be wrong about your baby daddy and your best friend, I think we both know you wrote #Dimelo hoping for a pass on having to deal with a reality you are already aware of. Wonder Woman and Diana Prince are never seen in the same room because Super Hero Secret Identity! so if these two can't be in a room together with you it means they are either the same person or they are really hoping you are as stupid as they think they are smart.

It's easier to save face than it is to stand up for ourselves, so stand up for your little girl instead. If she comes to you in 20 years with the same question you asked me here, will you tell her to stay in an unhappy relationship because of the baby and pretend her best friend doesn't need a refresher course on how to actually be one? Or will you tell her she's worth more than that and needs to own it, dump the trash from her life, and move on?

I'm a mom, too, and I know what ends I'd go to for my daughter. Sometimes, I do for me only after I think of what I'd do for her because motherhood is one hell of a motivator. So is hanging tight for the Big Reveal when you get to the end of your real life Spanglish Soap Opera. I have a feeling that's your anonymous text angel might be comfortable enough to show themselves once the dust settles if you decide to shake things up. I totally want and update if they do. —Now go write your theme song.

Sincerely,

—P

 Pauline Campos is Latina Magazine's #DIMELO advice columnist. Email her your questions at dimelo@latina.com. Connect with her on her blog, www.aspiringmama.comfacebook ,instagram, and follow her on twitter: @pauline_campos

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