I am a 12-year-old-girl who has fallen hopelessly in love with a boy in my class. You may say that I'm too young to experience such a....a...powerful feeling; but, no: I can assure you that what I feel is so authentic that it hurts. How can I deny the constant and relentless thump of my heart when I'm near him? The way my brain turns to mush, the desire to be with him? I can assure you that this love is COMPLETELY one-sided and to put it simply: that hurts like hell. It hurts knowing that one day he'll find the love of his life; a girl that isn't me, who carries more intelligence and beauty with less insecurities than I. What can I do to break this hold that he has on me?
Drowning in Love
First let me address the obvious: either you think I'm an idiot or you happen to be a child prodigy with a grasp of the English language not seen since L.M. Montgomery wrote Anne of Greene Gables.
If it's the first, feel free to yuck it up but the chiste is on you. Your question was selected because it makes for entertaining reading and I'm sure my readers will be looking this one over with one eyebrow raised all the way through. If you happen to be 12 and about to enter Harvard on a full scholarship, kudos on the brains, chiquita. While it's perfectly normal to have a crush on a classmate, love is an altogether different emotion that -- no matter how mushy your brain may get -- you aren't emotionally mature enough yet to handle.
I know. I KNOW. You think I'm wrong and couldn't possibly understand how you are feeling because THIS IS REAL and if he loved you back you'd probably be married and living happily ever after right after college, right? And if he doesn't, your world is over as you know it and you will never get over him because this is, how did you put it? Oh right... it's " so authentic it hurts."
If you truly ARE a young girl pining over the boy who doesn't know you exist, I want you to know that I do understand. I liked a boy who sort of liked me back who bought me a bracelet once. The bracelet lasted longer than the crush, mijita, because life goes on and your likes and interests will grow and change as you do. Now? We do need to talk about keeping that young corazon of yours in check.
Let me count the reasons why...
1 - You're 12.
2 - I had a crush when I was 12. My brain turned to mush, too. But it was a crush, not love. I'm betting the same is true for you, too.
3 - You're 12.
4 - Of course it's one-sided. He's 12, too.
5 - While I don't doubt it hurts to not have your feelings returned, you're 12. I'm pulling my Mami card and telling you the phrase "hurts like hell" is not one you should be uttering. Ever.
You asked how to break the hold this boy has on you. Time will do that for you, m'ija. For now, enjoy being 12, giggling with your girlfriends during sleepovers and while watching Twilight, and know that one day VERY FAR IN THE FUTURE (like after you graduate from high school and college and get your Master's Degree in Nuclear Science and Engineering and buy your own house) you'll fall in love. And it will be beautiful. -- Enjoy being a kid.
Pauline Campos is Latina Magazine's #DIMELO advice columnist. Email her your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. Connect with her on her blog, www.aspiringmama.com, facebook ,instagram, and follow her on twitter: @pauline_campos.