Happy Easter to all our Christian Latinos! It’s the time of year where your parents (in particular your mom) get extra religious and judgmental. For Christ’s sake, just agree with her and put her at ease. You have the rest of year to do you.
1. Somber Friday
According to your mami at 3PM on Good Friday Jesus Christ passed away on the cross . . . for your sins. So you better be sadder than Drake. As a matter of fact, you should be so down on yourself that if Drake sees you he’ll go, “Damn, I need to get on your level of sadness.” Llora!
2. No Joy All Pain
No Joy, All Pain
Oh and as soon as 3PM hits, stop streaming any type of music or watching any TV. If you’re sad, stay sad. Anything that elicits any type of enjoyment is out of the question.
3. Rain, Rain Go Away
Rain, Rain Go Away
Your mom always says it rains on Good Friday. Why? Because God is crying over the death of His Son.
You: But it’s just cloudy today.
Your Mom: You’ll see.
You: It’s 70 degrees and sunny.
Your Mom: It’ll rain. Ya vas a ver.
4. Meat Free
Step away from the lechon! If you’re a God-fearing Christian or a holidays-only one, you know meat is off limits on Fridays during Lent. So keep your hankering for bacon until post-Easter, unless you want mami to remind you how her chancletas feel on your skin.
5. Pray All Day
Pray All Day
No TV. No music. No Internet. No problem! Mami says, “Go pray the rosary!”
Easter eggs are cool but some of our mamis preferred cascarones, which are colorful egg shells filled with confetti. Plus, a confetti-filled egg fight is better (and safer) than one with the eggs still inside.
7. Food, Fun, & Family
Food, Fun, & Family
Big meals and holidays go hand-in-hand with our gente. Easter lunch or dinner includes everything your tummy desires—pasteles, tamales, pavo, etc. Make your mami smile and help her in the kitchen.