Holidays bring the whole family together — and that means the whoooooole family.
Between Victor Manuelle blasting from the speakers and your little cousins running all over the place, this is one unique type of insanity you can deal with once a year. But of all the matriarchs of your family, one stands out the most and rises to the top: your tía.
Your tía is that one special person in your family who's like your mom, but a cooler version. She gives you the cold-hard facts of life no one else will give you but will also encourage you to live your life in the most memorable way. When she comes to party, her motto is, "Go big or go home."
Ahead, here are some of the things your tía has totally told you after a few cups of coquito.
"Nena, take a picture of me for the Facebook"
You know this happens at every holiday party. After your tía wishes bendiciones to every single one of her 542 Facebook friends, she has to put up some nice pics of her outfit. And some with the family. And the food. And anything else she needs to show off. The list is endless.
"Mi'ja, you can do anything you set your mind to, si Dios quiere."
Your tía gives you all of the motivational speeches that you've ever needed to hear — and they're even more passionate when she's drunk. She'll reminisce on memories of you you as a baby and talk about how you've grown up to be such a hard-working woman. She'll have your abuela and mami chiming in within no time on how proud they are of you.
"Ay, all my life I've struggled for my children ... and this is how they've treated me!"
At some point between the second and third drink, tía goes on an angry rant about all of the things her children have done specifically to hurt her. It always has to do with some sort of lie they told when they were sixteen or un maldito novio that they had when they were twenty-three. Either way, she remembers it all, and you're never going to hear the end of it.
"¿Y el novio?"
You can always count on someone in your family to ask this question. Even if you do have a partner, it just spirals from there. "So what are the next steps?" "When are you getting married?" "When are you having kids?" The questions really never stop.
"You know your favorite tía is always in your corner, right? As long as you got your family, you're set for life."
The holidays (and the third glass of wine) have tía in the mood to remind you of what's important in life. She's not wrong, though — your true day-ones will always be in your corner, and they'll never let you down.