Last year, the Latina team received a book called “Why Latinas Get the Guy,” which author Joe Bovino describes as “a no-BS guide to understanding the allure of Latin-American women and spicing up your love life.”
By now you’re probably thinking a few things: “WTF?” “If another mother f**ker calls me ‘spicy’ one more time!” “Who’s this gringo pendejo?”
But this libro is even more racist, sexist and demeaning than you’re imagining.
Throughout the text, Bovino describes 14 types, or “species,” of “chicas,” U.S.-based Latinas.
There’s the “Taco Belle,” Mexican Americans, who he describes as having “large or medium-sized breasts and a wide butt that’s flat at the top and round at the bottom,” adding that she’s “often out of shape because exercise is less emphasized in Mexican culture.” According to this bro, mexicanas are also “not particularly ambitious or well-educated because she doesn’t want career to interfere with family.” Her promiscuity level is rated a six on a scale from one to 10.
Then there’s “La Guitarra,” a Puerto Rican “chica” from the south who is “dangerously curvy.” This “Boricua mami” is recognized for a few things: a guitar-shaped body with a “thick, shapely butt” that’s thicker than the “Brazilian-American bombshell,” but she often gets a “boob job to balance things out.” Unlike many Latinas,” Bovino writes, La Guitarra is “no visa-hunter” (like he for real said that). While her promiscuity level is a 5.5, she’s known for wanting “sex as much or more than her man does.” La Guitarra shouldn’t be mistaken with “Nuyoricans,” those Puerto Rican women from the Northeast. While she, too, has a “big, protruding butt,” she’s “uneducated and poor,” has a promiscuity rate of 9, has children out of wedlock and goes after baby daddies “for child support until she gets it or they repo his ride.”
El estúpido goes on to describe cubanas as “transformers,” because he says they go from a “Latin Jessica Rabbit” to “Kristie Alley” with too much food and kids, Dominicans, “Cinnamon Swirl,” as “stubborn and close-minded,” Salvadoran women, “pupusas,” as “bitchy,” and on and on with the racist misogyny.
The only thing worse than Bovino’s racialized sexism is that the hombre is totally and completely unapologetic in the face of criticism. He wants “cranky” social justice activists who are “easily offended by colorful talk about women and ethnicity” to calm down, which is interesting, since he calls us inherently “fiery” and “angry.”
Still, “colorful” isn’t the word that crosses my mind when considering Bovino’s work. Objectifying, dehumanizing, prejudice, racist, stereotypical, degrading, hackneyed, bullshit, bigoted and misogynistic are actually the first 10 terms I think of.
We’re not alone. The funny folks at the Flama weren’t laughing at Bovino’s display of Latina degradation, either. In a recent article about another one of this dude’s seriously offensive books on Latinas, “Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States,” they call on Amazon to ban the text.
We’re with them, and we came up with a fitting hashtag for the faux “Latina expert” to get y’all moving: #JoeDontKnowLatinas.
Get going, mujeres.