Dominican Judge Wants to Ban "Dumb" Names

Dominican Central Electoral Commission judge Jose Angel Aquinas recently proposed a ban to keep parents from giving their children names that are confusing, give no indication of gender, are vulgar, or are more than three words long or difficult to pronounce—unless they are children born to foreigners, of course! When we first heard this we thought, "Damn, didn't people learn from Trujillo about the downfalls of fascism?"

Then we heard the names. It’s been a long standing joke in the Latino community that Los Dominicanos have a tradition of bestowing, um, "quirky" names upon their children. But really, who in God's name thought it would be OK to name their kid Tonton (aka Dummy) Rivera, Toshiba (aka Japanese electronics brand) Fidelina, or Seno (aka Breast) Jimenez? On second thought, we agree with Judge Aquinas! 

The Central Electoral Commission will consider the ban this year, but no date has been set. A second Dominican judge wants the commission to explain the consequences of name selection to parents instead of enacting a ban, but we are 95% sure that won't work!