ROUND FOUR: It’s getting hot in here!
Palin: Well, Sarah Palin doesn't seem to have much in the way of sympathetic feelings for animals. She advocated to take polar bears off the endangered species list, loves to hunt, and does not believe that Global Warming is a result of human activity. And we all know she wants to "Drill, baby, drill" for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, one of the last remaining natural habitats for the animals mentioned above. So, she's pretty much a modern day Moosealini (sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves) when it comes to environmental issues in general.
Clinton: Clinton supports spending 5 billion dollars on an economic stimulus package to create new "green-collar" jobs. She also voted against Yucca Mountain, a proposed US Department of Energy repository for nuclear waste. She was behind the EPA study of air
quality at Ground Zero. Hillary also consistently votes for clean air initiatives and to protect the funding for the EPA.
Winner: Clinton, without a doubt. We want the earth to be around for our children and yes, we love polar bears.
ROUND FIVE: I can see Russia from my house!
Clinton: Hillary did support Bush when he called for the War in Iraq, but then again, so did most senators, being that they were all lied to about Saddam Hussein having Weapons of Mass Destruction and being linked to Al Qaeda. Clinton generally believes that we should focus on trying to help people abroad before committing troops to wars. How refreshing!
Palin:When asked about her foreign policy experience Palin actually stated, “Well, ya know. I can see Russia from my house." 'Nuff said.
Winner? Clinton. You might be thinking that this round should be a draw, but at least Hillary had a passport before this year. She wins.
ROUND SIX: Work it, girl!
Palin: OK, Sarah is officially working it. The glasses are fierce, the suits are snazzy and we hear she has even been known to rock Naughty Monkey shoes, which we totally wear too! The lady has style for miles. Who knew Alaska was so chic?
Clinton: Oh Hillary, we totally freaked out when we saw your assistants holding up like 10 different colors of the same boring pant suit at the Democratic Convention in Denver. And then you went for orange?! You've been rocking that same old style for more than a decade. You live and work in NY! Come down to the city, hire a stylist and let that sassy vixen we know you have inside of you out to play!
Winner: Palin's got Hillary whipped on this one. She's one hot momma! Well played, Sarah Palin, well played.
FINAL TALLY: Hillary Clinton totally took Sarah Palin down! Sure, Palin’s a tough Alaska girl and she hunts and eats moose (side note: eww, gross), but Clinton’s been in the senate for 8 years, and has a REAL HISTORY of standing up for woman and issues we believe in. In the end we don’t really know who Sarah Palin is, and the few times she has spoken on the issues she has, quite frankly, scared the crap out of us.