8 Ways to End a Relationship (Once and For All!)

Ending a relationship can be difficult, to say the least. (Just look at Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber!) And for some of us, it can be ever harder to let go. Half-Mexican Laura Wheeler is a Marriage and Family Therapist who has spent a lot of time counseling on-again-off-again couples. She shares with us how to end a relationship once and for all. (Selena, are you reading this?)

1. Ending a Relationship: Stop Texting

Stop Texting

Though it’s easier said then done, cutting off all communication via text message is vital if you are looking to end a relationship for good. “If you’re trying to end a relationship completely it’s best to lessen how often you text, or end texting all together,” she explains. “The more you are in contact, the more likely you are to have a hard time letting go of the relationship.” And above all else, don’t drink and text your ex! “When you’re out having drinks with the girls, keep your phone out of reach!” Laura says. “Texting your ex while you have alcohol in your system is always a bad idea!”

2. Ending a Relationship: Social Media

Part Ways on Social Media

Since we live in the day and age of social media, our exes tend to be just a click away. If you want to end your relationship once and for all, it may be time to do a social media tune-up. “As mean as this sounds, de-friending your ex on Facebook and other social media outlets is a good idea,” Laura explains.  “Otherwise you can get caught up in Facebook stalking them and obsessing on what they are doing. The more you obsess, the harder it is to move on.”

3. Ending a Relationship: Don't Be Friends

Stop Pulling the “Friend” Card

Many of us try to be friends with our exes following a break-up. While being friends after parting ways is ideal, it doesn’t always help if you’re trying to get over that person. “Sometimes it’s best to just cut the chord completely,” Laura suggests.  “As lovely as it sounds to be friends after a break up, that doesn’t work for everyone.”

4. Ending a Relationship: Stop Talking About It

Stop Talking About It

Besides that pint of Ben & Jerry’s, nothing hits the spot quite like bashing your old relationship with your friends. While talking things out can be very therapeutic at first, there comes a time when you need to stop. “The more you talk about it, the more you obsess on it. Spending hours talking to your friends and family about what went wrong, or how horrible your ex was, is not a good idea,” Laura suggests. “While you definitely need some time to talk things out with someone, do that once or twice and then try your best to let it go.” 

5. Ending a Relationship: Distract Yourself

Distract Yourself

Sometimes the best way to get over someone is distraction. Taking up a new hobby, or even going away for the weekend may be just what they doctor ordered. “Partake in actives that distract you from wanting to talk to your ex,” Laura says. “Even a quick trip away with some friends may help. Anything to get your mind off of things!”

6. Ending a Relationship: Say No

Learn to Say No

If you have a needy ex that is always calling you and begging you to come over, you may need to learn to say no. “Many people can’t say no to their ex, especially if they initiated the break-up, mainly because they feel guilty,” Laura says. The best thing you can do is free yourself from your guilt and break the attachment – which is better in the long run for everyone!

7. Ending a Relationship: Reevaluate Friends

Reevaluate Your Friends

If your friends are not in support of your break-up and are trying to get you and your ex back together, it may be time to reevaluate. “Friends can make or break how you can recover after a break-up, so it’s important to keep positive and supportive people around you,” Laura says. Another possible problem? Friends who are still close to your ex. “While you want everyone to get along, sometimes it’s hard to move on if you and your ex have mutual friends. It may be best to take a step back and reevaluate your relationships if you need to.”

8. Ending a Relationship: Makeover

Get a Makeover

Looking good is the best revenge and sometimes it’s even the best way to move on! “A lot of women can’t let go of their ex out of insecurity. They think are not worthy of finding something better and that is definitely not the case!” Laura explains. “Getting a makeover is a great way to give yourself a confidence boost so you can end that relationship for good!”