Researchers Have Found the Key to Keeping the Spark Alive in the Bedroom

Study Examines Fizzling Sex Lives

It probably seems obvious that maintaining the spark in an LTR can be extremely difficult, but new research proves that it doesn't have to be impossible. 

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A new study which will appear in The Journal of Sex Research determined the secrets to success for long-term couples with satisfying sex lives. Researchers surveyed 40,000 couples who had been together for at least three years, and found — unsurprisingly — that the vast majority of participants spent the first six months of their relationship happy with their sex lives. It's all fun and games during the honeymoon stage, right? 

Sadly, things went downhill pretty quickly for many amantes: just 55 percent of women and 43 percent of men answered that they found their current sex lives satisfying. A paltry 38 percent of women and 32 percent of men felt their current sex lives were as passionate as they were in the beginning.

So, what's the secret of the satisfied? How do they keep things hot in the bedroom? Researchers discovered that those couples had sex more often, and the sex often lasted longer. They also engaged in more oral sex and had more frequent orgasms. These couples were also more communicative in bed and engaged in more "sexy" activities, like playing music. lighting candles, wearing lingerie, trying sex toys, setting a date night, acting out fantasies or taking a shower or bath together. 

Makes sense, right? 

According to lead author David Frederick, having an orgasm was a pretty important predictor in sexual satisfaction (obviously), but it wasn't the only thing that mattered. The study also highlighted the power of communication. "Men are less likely than women to feel desired by their partner," Frederick told Glamour. "So one key for women is to really express their desire and attraction for their partner."

He added that almost half of sexually satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazines — with one key difference: the satisfied couple's actually tried the ideas. (Luckily, we have plenty of ideas for those of you looking for spice things up.

PLUS: Four Phrases That Will Make Your Relationship Stronger

For a simple way to heat up your bedroom routine, Frederick recommends saying "te amo" during sex or sending a flirty text earlier in the day. The little things matter, and something as simple as communication can lead to hotter sex.