A long, long time ago when I was a young and naive chica, I gave my number to a man that was a wee too young for me. Like, he couldn't buy me a drink, he was that young. What can I say? I was Latina.com's dating blogger and needed fodder? And I sure got it.
I received an abundance of sexts from said youngin'. I engaged and sexted back. You know, for the love of writing. But I am not alone. Many women are sent sexts during booty call hour (and any other time). Here are ten sexts you may just get, and whether you should respond or just hit "delete."
1. It's cold outside.
It's cold outside.
Dude is trying to be poetic. But you know what he wants, right? Sex. It doesn't matter if it's 100 degrees outside. "It's cold outside" is synonymous to "give me some." Should you respond? Sure. But don't be shocked if the only thing that's warming up is your lady parts.
2. My faucet is leaky.
My faucet is leaky. Wanna come fix it?
My friend received this sext from a guy she was seeing. His faucet is his...ahem. He gets points for being creative. I think he should get a response. Unless his "faucet" has a problem. I mean, why would it be leaking?!
3. Come be my sex slave.
Come be my sex slave.
Slavery ended years ago, buddy! Why oh why do I want to come over at 3 a.m. to turn back the hands of time? I say delete this sext. We don't need a master and this isn't 50 Shades of Grey.
4. Wanna bone?
Straight and to the point – I like it. So I say respond. At least he's being honest. Other men dance around the subject. But only respond if you really want to bone. If you engage just to play along, there won't be a happy ending.
5. You could be my vixen.
You could be my vixen.
"My bed would be your stage!" I won't lie. My boyfriend sexted me this very message because he knows I love "Vixen" by Miguel. I, of course, replied…because he's my boyfriend. Besides, a man that knows the lyrics to a Miguel song is one to get to know. And maybe even play with.
6. Te deseo, Mami.
Te deseo, Mami.
Ay, Papi! Si! Really. I say go for it. This dude may sound like a Romeo Santos copycat but imagine what else he can say and do. Let me find out!
7. You should be here.
You should be here.
Hmmm, well, maybe I'll come over then! A man that tells a woman to come over while still seeming needy is kind of a turn on. Play with him a little. Tell him he should promise to take off your panties with his mouth and then you'll come. Pun intended.
Wait. Did you just sext me a moan? Or are you having a stroke? Does someone need an ambulance?! There is nothing smooth, creative or direct about this sext. I’d ask him if he's ok. If he his, tell him he should get a prescription to cure his corniness.
9. Come over para que me vulvas loco.
Come over para que me vulvas loco.
Well hello to you too! I'd text as I put on my shoes and throw on a jacket. Cause I'm heading over and so should you. There's nothing like a man who is good with words and knows how to make a woman feel like a champ in bed.
10. Wanna come over and cuddle?
Wanna come over and cuddle?
This guy is texting you at booty call hour asking you to cuddle. Do you know what that is? It's a text disguised as a sext. He's trying to be romantic. Depending on who he is and how I feel at the moment, I would think about going over to "cuddle." You should do the same, and not just for this guy but for every man who sexts you passed your bedtime.
Sujeiry Gonzalez, coined the “Latina Carrie Bradshaw,” is a relationship writer and author of Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles. The 2013 Love Guru on Exitos 93.9FM provides relationship advice daily on LoveSujeiry.com.