Sex Drive: What Everyone Else is Doing in the Bedroom

When I was single and ready to mingle (and commit), I’d seethe at cutesy couples that couldn’t take their hands off of each other. What do they have that I didn’t have with Paco and Luke and Elijah? I know how to work it, so why didn’t those relationships last? I hate all these sexy couples!

Then I got booed up. Yes, I am off the market and happy as can be. That’s because I am satisfied in and out of the bedroom. I am now that girl. The one who makes love to her man with her eyes and annoys singles on the subway, at the bar, and in the club with our PDA. And women ask me: what is he doing to make you so happy? What is in his pants, chica?! I won’t tell, but I will share what everyone else is doing in the bedroom. 

PLUS: The Biggest Mistakes Every Couple Makes

1. Role Play

If you’ve ever dreamed of being Cleopatra, now is your chance. You see, playing a part during sex is all the rage. Put on your corona and be the queen that you are. Save your fellow with CPR as a sexy nurse. Cuff him because he’s been a bad boy. These are only a few of the popular roles you can play en la cama. 

2. Sex Toys

Sex toys aren’t just for las mujeres solteras. According to Lovehoney, millions are buying sex toy products. What strikes your fancy? Lubricant, gels and four play essentials are the top selling items for this sex toy shop. Vibrators came in second. What this indicates is this - many of you are using sex toys with another. Unless, of course, you’re dribbling edible massage oil on yourself. Probably not! 

3. Lingerie

Lingerie never gets old. Whether you’re prancing around in a Victoria’s Secret babydoll or a cute H&M bra and panty set, men adore it and women are wearing it. The same Lovehoney study discovered that lingerie is one of their top buys. Coming in third place isn’t too shabby. Neither are those fishnets. 

4. That Self-Pleasure

Masturbation is the key to getting to know your sexual likes — hence why 92% of women have done it. So imagine how awesome it feels to masturbate in front of your partner? It not only builds intimacy but it is also a turn on for you and him. It’s a guy’s wet dream when a woman takes charge and knows how to turn herself on. Just make sure to invite him in before you finish.

5. Good Old Porn

Before you explode in the bedroom, pop in a porno. Yes, women are as into it as men are. In this study, 85 percent of women stated that they watch porn as a form of fantasy and escape. It’s not that different for men. Men watch porn and pretend their banging that blonde who moans with just the sight of a pene. So, ladies, shake off those cultural taboos. Forget what your mami told you and Introduce pornography pre-sex. If you’re extra adventurous, watch the pros get it on while you get it on. You may teach them a thing or two. 

6. Afternoon Delight

Skyrockets in flight, give yourself an afternoon delight, honey! Apparently, you already knew that. A survey discovered that we desire sex the most at 4:33pm. Though few of us act on it (working that 9-5 can do that to a gal) many of us get our sexual kicks after work. Precisely at 7:37pm.  Try it. Don’t wait till bed time to get it on. Maybe that’s why those sexy couples look so damn happy.


Sujeiry Gonzalez is a relationship specialist and the owner of - the go-to community for women on all things love. The author of Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles is also an on-air talent who dishes on relationships for various media outlets, including Exitos 93.9FM, Telemundo, and FYI.