How I Almost Became My Roommate's Eskimo Sister

I Almost Became My Roommate's Eskimo Sister
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“I have the perfect guy for you,” my friend Chloe blurted out. I furrowed my brows, unconvinced. I had met all of her male friends, and none of them was my type.

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“Did you meet someone new?” I asked, still doubtful. “No! It’s Rick! He’s back from Miami, and I think you’ll hit it off,” she responded.

“Wait. Your Rick,” I asked back. In college, Rick and Chloe were in a full-blown relationship — felatio and sexy time included. Why would she want to hook me up with an ex?

“That’s weird, isn’t it?” I pressed. “Not at all! I love you. He’s a great guy, and I figure maybe he’s for you,” she encouraged. “Besides, maybe we dated so he can meet you.”

Huh, I never thought of it that way. So I agreed to a date with Rick, even though if we did hit it off and had sex, Chloe and I would become Eskimo Sisters.

What’s that exactly? It’s a term used to define friends who have effed the same guy. Weird. But it happens.

Date night arrived, and Rick and I sipped on drinks at a West Village bar. Afterwards, we strolled down New York City streets and got to know each other better. Rick loved to read, as do I. Rick was also looking for a serious relationship. Jackpot.

After walking past tattoo shops, dive bars and trendy nightspots, we stopped for ice cream. I devoured a vanilla cone from Mister Softee, and some rainbow sprinkles fell onto my lower lip. Rick leaned in and brushed them off with his lips. Maybe I could be Chloe’s Eskimo Sister after all.

We ended up at my place, and that’s when things got awkward. You see, Chloe and I were roommates. When Rick and I walked into the living room, she sat in front of the television set eating her own bowl of ice cream and catching up on “El Clon” — our favorite telenovela.

“Hey guys! How was your date,” Chloe asked happily.

Rick stiffened, shocked and unsure of what to do or say next. “It was good,” I answered for us both.

“Duh,” I wanted to add. I mean, I just took him back to our place. We weren’t there to play Scrabble or watch TV with my future Eskimo Sister. But Chloe didn’t see it that way. Instead, she patted the empty couch beside her, motioning us to take a seat, or maybe just Rick. He rushed to her side, and I realized he may still have feelings for her. Feeling ballsy, I tested him.

“Hey, Rick, let’s go to my room,” I said.

He looked back at me and back at Chloe like he had seen El Cuco. Rick was the star of his very own telenovela, where two hot Dominican protagonists desired him. How would the “Eskimo Sister Chronicles” end? Who would he choose?

I extended my hand, and Rick grabbed it while I led him to my bedroom. Triumph!

Not so quick. While lying on top of him, I could see his apprehension. Whenever Chloe laughed, he’d stop fondling me. I was beginning to wonder if my potential Eskimo Sister was cock-blocking me.

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“I think we should stop,” I told Rick. He jumped out of bed and quickly buttoned his pants, like a villain that had been caught lighting a barn fire. As he left my bedroom and warmed up the spot next to Chloe on the couch, I knew I only needed one sister — the blood-relative kind — and I had that covered.