Before I met Boo, I was the "Queen of Failed Relationships." My bad relationship choices led me to write about my drinking and dialing — and hollering and sobbing like a telenovela star. Cue an ugly wail, raccoon eyes, and a slow slide down a wall.
Soon, I was affectionately coined the “Latina Carrie Bradshaw.” It was cool to be known as Carrie. It was also cathartic to write about my journey since I built a career out of my failed relationship attempts and wild ways. Do you know what wasn’t hot? How I continued dating jerks. How I often plowed down a self-destructive path because I couldn’t resist the allure of a douchey smile, a slimy piropo (catcall), or a chaotic courtship.
Does this sound like you? Have you had a string of bad relationships because you can’t stop dating a-holes? If you have, don’t fret. Those bad boys and homeboys that you once loved were good for something. Let’s take a look at the silver lining — here are five reasons to date a jerk:
1) You will discover what you don’t want in a relationship.
With every relationship wrong you will discover a right. If you hadn’t dated that jerk, you wouldn’t have realized that you need a man who is supportive and kind, who listens and is affectionate. Sometimes we need to experience heartache to pinpoint our needs in a relationship. So thank that jerk for treating you like crap. You now know your non-negotiables. And you won’t let a man treat you like days-old basura again.
2) You will learn to stand up for yourself.
Due to my Papi abandonment issues, I was afraid of rejection. So when a man I dated ignored my calls, evaded the truth, or disregarded my feelings, I would pretend to be unaffected. That’s because I didn’t want to stir the pot. I was afraid that the jerk would dump me. Eventually, I realized this: mejor sola que mal acompañada. I stood up for myself when I felt disrespected. If I hadn’t dated jerks, I would still be afraid to speak up.
3) It’s your community service of the year.
Jerks need love too! They also need “fixing,” or so we believe. One reason why women date jerks is because they see “potential.” We just really want to help them become better men. Unfortunately, jerks usually remain as jerky as when you met them. At least you tried. Claim it as community service; you served mankind!
4) Date him and warn other women.
One of my favorite episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” was the one where Barney got bitch slapped by every woman he tried to seduce. It turns out that Abby (Britney Spears), a scorned ex-fling of Barney’s, warned all women of his sleazy ways via a website. So, do womankind a solid: date a jerk and warn the others.
5) They’re usually hot.
If you ever wanted to get it on with a hot hombre, date a jerk. For some reason the jerkier the guy, the hotter he is. God didn’t give him a great personality or a kind heart, but he did make him beautiful. You can’t have it all! Just make sure that said hot jerk is just a fling. In other words, don’t get attached, or you’ll get be hurt so badly you’ll be crowned the new Queen.