Contrary to popular belief (and traditional teachings), women can enjoy sex. We’re supposed to – I mean, the clitoris’ sole purpose is to provide pleasure, so we really should! That includes being multi-orgasmic. Yes, women can orgasm again and again during intercourse. You just have to know what to do.
Luckily, two sex experts are leading the way. Here are tips and tricks to up your game in the bedroom so you can cum as often as your heart desires.
Submit to your body: “Becoming orgasmic, whether just one time or multiple times is all about surrender,” said Wendy Strgar, author of the upcoming Sex That Works: A Woman’s Guide to Embracing the Erotic, Awakening Arousal, and Deepening Intimacy. How does one let go and let God (or, in this case, allow for multiple orgasms)? You empty that pretty head of yours. “It won’t work if you are anxious about other things,” Strgar added, “[it’s] also equally ineffective to try to force orgasm, which inevitably ends up just turning into anxiety about performance.” So release your tension and submit! Allow the “heat of desire” to rise and your body to lead you to orgasm.
Try something new: If missionary isn’t cutting it, switch it up! Trying something new during intercourse will help you and your partner pinpoint what pleases you sexually. “If oral sex was what sent you over the edge, have your partner penetrate you while stimulating your clit orally or manually or with a toy,” suggests, author of SOLO Sex and O Wow! Not enough stimulation? “For round three, try a little anal play. It can be fun and effective to play with blending different elements.” Yes, you must be open and adventurous to experience multiple orgasms.
Don’t think about outcomes: I know, I know: easier said than done. You’re dying to be multi-orgasmic; of course you’re going to think about the result. The thing is that concentrating so much on the outcome hinders you from achieving what you desire. “The more deeply you connect to your arousal mechanism and stop thinking about outcomes, the more that the body will lead you into deeper and deeper levels of stimulation,” explained Wendy. “One helpful way to think about multiple orgasms is in terms of outer and inner. Achieving clitoral orgasm, even multiple times, awakens and primes the complex internal erectile network most women don’t even know they have.” So focus on your pleasure and enjoy sex!
Never forget the clit: Speaking of the clit, it truly is a gift from God. It’s there to make you moan from pleasure and nothing more. Men don’t have an organ like this, so love it and don’t forget it. “The clit is the primary orgasm go-to,” said Block, “there’s no reason to ignore it during any round [of sex].” Especially since you’re more likely to climax via clitoral stimulation than penetration. The clit is our money spot, chicas.
Talk to your lover: Communication can make or break a sexual experience. If you don’t tell your partner what feels good, he or she may keep doing the same damn thing, resulting in frustration and ultimately bad sex. “Tell your partner what you are experiencing and what you want and what you like and how amazing she/he is,” Jenny advised. You should also talk less and listen — to your body. “Don’t get stuck with what you think you know about your arousal response,” Wendy added.
Believe that you can: Mind over matter may just work in this case. According to Block, all women can achieve multiple orgasms. It’s all about believing that you can and leaving the guilt, negativity and stress outside your door – and being experimental, of course. “[Multiple orgasms] is not something a woman has to do or should be ashamed if she can't do, but if you want to explore them, take your time, relax, and keep in mind that practicing is half the fun!”
Ah, yes, fun! No matter how often you climax, sex should be enjoyable. So get in there, jump on your lover and get your freak on.