NOW YOU SEE HIM, NOW YOU DON’T
I’ve been going out with my novio of two years. When I’m not with him I feel lost and anxious, but when I’m with him I feel uncomfortable. I wonder if I really love him. What do you think?
- Confundida in Falls River, MA
Ay, that happened to me once, a long time ago. My best friend introduced me to this young man, smart, well educated, neat. I loved having him as a novio, since all my friends had one of those. However, every time I was with him I was bored to death and wanted to go home after half an hour. The fact that he looked a bit like Peewee Herman didn’t help either. I discovered that I loved the idea of having a novio, but didn’t love the novio. I think that’s what you’re going through. Move on. Two years of discomfort is two years too many. Wait for the right guy, the one you’ll love every minute of being with him, and cherish every minute of waiting to be with him.
-It does happen, trust me, D
I’m married to a great man, however, after four years we’ve come across a problem: He doesn’t like spending time with my family. Before we met he moved to Arizona to get away from his family, now he wants to move again to get away from my family. I’m 100 percent family-oriented and I’m having such an issue with this that I’ve told him that I want to stop trying to get pregnant. I think once we have a child there will be even more family members wanting to stop by and visit, leading to more arguments. I have even contemplated the “D” word. Is it silly for something like this to end my marriage?
-Struggling in Tucson
It isn’t silly at all. Families can be deadly for some marriages. We can’t expect everyone to enjoy the same type of relationship with his or her extended familias than we do. Not everyone looks forward to spending every other weekend with Tía Josefina and her five brats or suffer Uncle Ramiro’s drunken rants about politics, or stomach the sister-in-law’s awful cooking. You have to make a deal with your marido. Give him the afternoon off when you want to visit your relatives or when they come to your house. In turn, give him a list of fiestas or gatherings he must attend or host with you. That should work.
-Start making your own family, D
HE’S A VIRGIN!
I’m 28 years old and have kissed many frogs before finally finding my prince. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. We’ve been dating for three months and taking things slow (God knows I needed to put the brakes on my sex life eventually) but last week, when we were about to have sex for the first time, he stopped and confessed he’s a virgin. I was in shock but didn’t say anything. He plunged ahead but wilted before reaching our destination. I think he has performance anxiety. What do you think?
-Need to Get Some in California
I think you should take the brakes off your sex life and teach this nice man how to take a double curve without losing speed and a couple of other savvy driving techniques. Too many women assume all men are always the experts and let them do the driving, when in fact many don’t even know where to insert the ignition key.
-Issue him a learner’s permit and hit the road, m’ija, D