Ay el amor! It feels so amazing to fall deep in love and feel that same love in return. But, there is such a thing as loving too hard. Your partner be the end-all and be-all of your existence.
To help fight off the needy chica within, here are some warning signs that you’re a Stage Five clinger:
1. Clingy Signs: Facebook
#1: You Stalk His Social Media Obsessively
Your job has become perusing his social media platforms while listening and watching love songs on YouTube. Suddenly, your jam comes on (it’s the song that played during your first kiss), and you share the video on his Facebook wall. No harm done, you think. So you make this a daily habit. Every damn day you post a new R&B video on his Facebook that represents your love. Chica, you look like a stalker. He’s already yours; no need for all that stalking.
2. Clingy Signs: Everything Together
#2: You want to do everything with him.
And I mean everything! Like, he’s taking a dump and you’re all, “Babe, what are you doing?” Um, can’t you smell it? Listen, I get it; you love your partner and really enjoy spending time with him. He’s your best friend, your confidante, your lover. Why wouldn’t you want to shower with him, cuddle with him, eat with him, and nap with him every day? Nah. Calm down, woman! Go spend some time alone or with your girls before you drive him away.
3. Clingy Signs: No Friends
#3: You Ditch Your Friends
Speaking of your girls, remember your friends. You know, those women who were once your ride or die. If you’re a Stage Five Clinger, you don’t even speak to them anymore. That’s because you dumped your girls for your man. Clinger alert!
4. Clingy Signs: Calling Repeatedly
#4: Calling him repeatedly if he doesn’t call back
While out with my sister one night, I called my boo. He didn’t pick up. “Aren’t you going to call him again?” she asked. “Why would I?” I responded. “He saw my missed called and I left a voicemail; he’ll call me when he can.” That’s the approach of an independent and secure mujer. A clingy and needy gal, however, would have blown up his phone as if she were heading to the ER to deliver their baby. If it isn’t that serious, give him the opportunity to return your call.
5. Clingy Signs: Sniffing Shirts
#5: Your Sniff His Clothes
He leaves his worn t-shirts all over your place, and you just love to get a whiff. You might even sleep in them or use his tee as a blanky. It’s okay to get the feels when you see his things. You’re taking it a bit too far if you sniff his funky shirts, boxers and sweats all day. In other words, ay fo!
6. Clingy Signs: Rereading Texts
#6: You Reread His Texts All Day, Every Day
Oh look! He texted you, “good morning,” followed by a heart-shaped emoji. And you read this profound text all day and night. Unless he wrote you a poem, there’s no need to continuously reread his texts like he’s the next Shakespeare. I mean, how interesting is “LOL” anyway?
7. Clingy Signs: Call His Mom
#7: You Call His Mami — Often
His mami is becoming your mami, but you and her son have only been together a few months. Not to mention you’ve added her number to your phone’s favorites list — and use it often. That’s right, clinger, you’re calling his mom more than you call your own. And you call her “mom” while you’re at it! She’s all like, “Pero quien es esta?” and you think it’s so sweet. Stop this at once before you’re dumped — and committed.