I remember rocking to my very first love song when I was just a preteen. It was 1988, and freestyle was the genre for young Latinos. That summer I spent hours recording mixtapes right off of Hot97. My favorite song was “Spring Love” by Stevie B.
At only 12 years old, I had never been in love, but I felt Stevie’s lyrics nonetheless. Now older, I know that love is fleeting. I have fallen for a man during the summer only to be heartbroken once leaves begin to fall. And, although many of us realize that a summer love is almost always a fling, coping with this breakup can still be very difficult.
So, if your summer love ghosted and you waste nights wailing, sliding down a wall like a telenovela star, I have a cure. Here are some ways to survive a summer breakup:
1. Summer Breakup: Get Help
If you can’t shake that man right out of your hair, seek out your friends and family. Keep yourself busy. Return to the hobbies that you enjoyed before meeting him. Download Rx Breakup — a new app designed to help you get over a recent breakup or lingering obsession. Developed by LA-based therapist Jane Reardon and entrepreneur Jeanine Lobell of Stila Cosmetics, the app is a 30-day, 3-step program that helps you say adios to your summer love. It features a "what's happening" feed that analyzes your mental, emotional and physical status, a "what to do" section that gives action-based tasks, and it assigns therapeutic writing assignments so you can heal with words.
2. Summer Breakup: Not In Love
Realize you might not be in love.
Those gooey feelings you feel might not be love! It’s just the allure of summer. “Because summer is so strongly associated with vacation, warm weather, long days and sultry nights, summer romances can seem idealized and dreamy,” Jane Reardon explained. Take a good hard look at the hombre you devoured this summer. Was your connection real or did Speedos and margaritas blur your reality?
3. Summer Breakup: No Contact
No contact of any sort.
Let’s say you did fall head-over-heels in love. I still forbid you to contact him! This includes asking mutual friends about him (What has he been up to? Did he talk about me? Is he dating anyone?) and texting. If you can’t resist, tame your impulse by calling or texting your friends. If your friends don’t scratch your itch, do something else until the impulse passes. "It will feel really good for the first half hour [after you text them], and then it’s back to the torture of withdrawal all over again,” Reardon explains.
4. Summer Breakup: Disconnect
Disconnect on social media.
I don’t believe in being friends with exes, especially on social media. If your Facebook friends with an ex or follow him on Instagram, it’s that much harder to resist the urge to virtually stalk him. You may want to take a break from social media all together. “Besides seeing what the ex is up to, seeing all those photos of happy couples on vacation is not going to help you at all,” Reardon told us.
5. Summer Breakup: Take Care
Take care of yourself.
That means you should hit the gym when you're heartbroken! “Try to fold in some cardio as soon as you’re physically able, as it will support your brain chemistry,” Reardon said. You'll feel better overall, and you'll look great. When you see him walking down the street, you can walk on by with your head held high — and a super fit cuerpo. It beats lying on your bedroom floor beside a tub of ice cream and sobbing “Por que?!”