We all need a little shopping help around the holidays. The thing we don't need, though, is a horrible gift that we can't return. You all know what I'm talking about: that scarf that's the wrong color, the universal remote that makes you go "huh?," the book that you have no intention of reading. There are a lot of bad gifts out there so, yes, we had to do it: we named them. These are the gifts that you should definitely NOT get a Latina!
1. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Quesadilla Maker
A quesadilla is one of the easiest foods to make so no, we don't want this neatly wrapped under our tree. If we wanted one, we'd already have one. Otherwise, keep this silly gift to yourself.
2. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Tight Red Dress
Tight Red Dress
Look, we all know the stereotype of every Latina on the planet being a sexy, curvaceous chica who can't help but show off the goodies every hour of the day--but even if we are that king of girl, we certainly don't need you to remind us.
3. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Sombrero & Maracas
Sombrero & Maracas
Congratulations, you've just won the Worst Gift Ever Award. Maybe it's supposed to be a gag gift but we're just not very amused by this gift. How about a gift certificate to Macy's instead?
4. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Dust Mop Slippers
Dust Mop Slippers
Cleaning supplies are pretty much our #1 on the No-No list, and these slippers-turned-mops are just the worst. It's not that we don't want our floors to be shiny and clean, we just don't need you to remind us to clean up.
5. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Speedy Gonzales Figurine
Speedy Gonzales Figurine
Who doesn't remember kids calling you "Speedy Gonzales" on the playground? We do! Unless we're currently kids ourselves (we're not), let's leave this toy in the toy store where it belongs.
6. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Fake Jewelry
There's nothing wrong with getting your girl a promise ring but, look, if you're going to put a ring on it, don't make it a corny cubic zirconia or silver look-alike. We want the real thing, baby.
7. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Cookbook
Her Home Country's Cookbook
Well, okay, maybe if she asks for it--but otherwise chances are that your lady learned to cook from her mami or abuelita and will laugh in your face if you try to get her a book that she could have very well written herself. Come on now.
8. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Bathroom Scale
You may as well look at us and call us fat if what we're getting from you for Christmas is a bathroom scale. Unless she's a fitness freak and actually told you directly that she wants some fancy high-tech scale, you're better off not going for it.
9. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: Goya Gift Certificate
Goya Gift Certificate
We love us some Goya products. The beans, the spices, even the rice--all yummy! But a gift certificate to remind us to cook you dinner isn't exactly all that enticing, okay? Just saying.
10. Gifts Not to Get a Latina: WineRack Bra Flask
WineRack Bra Flask
Ummmm what? Seriously. What is this thing? We're sure that the beer hat thing you just love is pretty cool for you and all, but having wine so near our breasts isn't exactly the most enticing thing we've ever heard. Let's just not.