Apple's 5 Most Racist iPhone Applications
03/04/2011 - 16:00 ||
Sometimes it feels like Apple approves its apps in an utterly random way. Example: Apple once rejected an app by a prize-winning political cartoonist on the basis that it “ridiculed public officials,” yet approved Baby Shaker, in which users shook their iPhones until a digital baby died (it was pulled after complaints). So maybe we shouldn’t be so surprised by all the racist apps Apple has given the green light too.
Check out our list of five of the worst offenders.
Mariachi Hero Grande
In this racist twist on Guitar Hero, a gold-toothed, cigar-chomping, big-lipped, bushy-eyebrowed “bandito” in a poncho and a sombrero squashes cockroaches in time to the music while shooting tequila bottles. If you’re a girl, you can play as an overly made up “senorita.” There’s also a walking tortilla chip named Mr. Nacho. The only thing missing is a chihuahua.
Only slightly better than being associated with cockroaches is being likened to a raggedy rodent with long moustache-like whiskers. The object of this game--set to music that’s a cross between the theme from “The Love Boat” and really bad salsa--is to help a rat named El Queso cross the border on his bike while avoiding being run down by cop cars. Avoid the cops and they crash into each other and you get a bonus; let them run you over and El Queso he screams “Aiiii!” while spread out on the desert floor. Because that’s exactly what happens in real life.
Illegal Immigration: A Game
This true or false quiz, in which you test yourself on your knowledge of the history of illegal immigration, drapes itself in Americana: flags adorn the edges, an image of Uncle Sam points at you. The game bills itself as educational, touting its thorough research. There are questions that point out the lack of oversight that led to the 9/11 hijackers overstaying their visas--fair enough. But the game’s racist subtext quickly floats to the surface in questions that basically complain about cities’ funding of Latino and black festivals (such as Tucson’s Cesar Chavez day and Juneteenth Festival), “trendy lefties,” “illegal alien lobby,” and personal attacks. Most disgustingly, the app’s info page lets you know that the game was developed by someone who lost his son in 9/11 and an airline pilot who works for one of the airlines hijacked on that day, as if tragedy gave them carte blance to spew hate.
Utterly pointless, this is basically a one-screen app with two rows of spray cans with slang terms on them. Someone who--how to explain?-- sounds like he’s trying to sound like what his brain tells him black and Latin people sound like, models the terms for you. You know, just in case you need to enter that foreign land of the inner city and have to blend in. Indispensable slang terms include: “You ain’t no Snoop. You ain’t no Dog, neither,” “Yo, that’s a janky outfit, son,” “That there’s a weak count, man” “That bag looks a little light, homey.”
One of the most popular apps in the store is a game in which you play a God who crushes little brown people called Pygmies, who wear grass skirts and bones in their hair and have names like Ookga Chaka and Booga. Send hurricanes their way, drown them, topple them like bowling pins with a boulder, set them on fire, drop bird sh*t on them. Lesson: brown people are expendable.
What do you think?
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