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Giovanna Mezzogiorno, Love in the Time of Cholera. This Italian actress snagged the role of a lifetime: playing Javier Bardem's unrequited love in the film adaptation of the classic novel. Too bad her performance was plagued by bad acting.
Adrian Grenier, Entourage. We wouldn't be surprised if Pablo Escobar himself returned from the grave to give Vinnie Chase a serious beat-down for his pathetic rendition of the Colombian drug lord.
Carlos Mencia, The Heartbreak Kid. Uncle Tito's dialogue may have kept us in stitches, but his waaay over-the-top Mexican accent was no laughing matter.
Adrienne Bailon, The Cheetah Girls. Verb-conjugation recitations in high school Spanish class sound better than Adrienne's grating accent. May we suggest some some pronuncation practice, Adrienne? Grassy-ass.
We named this award in honor of one of the consistently worst—and, ironically, most successful—of our Latino actors. To the winners, instead of acting classes, we suggest you embrace your bad-ness like Johnny, because there will never be a shortness of gangster-drug dealer-ghetto lothario roles for you to play in Hollywood. This year's award for stinkiest big-screen performance goes to...
John Leguizamo, Love in the Time of Cholera. ¡Por supuesto! Who could butcher a critical role in an epic romance like Johnny? Well, nobody. We have to hand it to him for having the guts to share screen time with Oscar-nominee Javier Bardem, though.
Eddie Matos, Cane. When this uber-hot Puerto Rican got plucked from the ranks of daytime soaps to star opposite Hector Elizondo and Rita Moreno in CBS's drama Cane, it was the chance of a lifetime. Unfortunately, Eddie hasn't been able to break free of his soap-star schtick and step up his game for primetime. At least he's pretty to look at.
Zulay Henao, Feel the Noise. Jennifer Lopez hand-picked Zulay for the role of a Puerto Rican dancer with big dreams of making it in New York. Something tells us, after this performance, her future is looking more fly girl than international movie star.
Nadine Velasquez, My Name is Earl. After a successful run playing roles like "Attactive Woman at Conga Club" in Chasing Papi and "Brunette on the Beach" in Kings of South Beach, Nadine tries her hand at comedy in this successful sitcom. Sadly, her role as illegal immigrant-stripper-maid Catalina is tragically unfunny. Stick to the soaps, mami.
For a year that saw the release of films like War, El Cantante and Feel the Noise, picking the worst of the worst was a tough call. But we decided the hands down winner is Franc. Reyes' gangster drama Illegal Tender. Aiming for the cult-classic status of 80's movies like Scarface, Illegal Tender doesn't even make it into the "so-bad-it's-good" category. File this one under "unwatchable."
One word: Gizzie. This season of Grey's Anatomy centered around a love triangle that has us screaming at our television sets, and almost made us lose hope in Thursday night TV. Whiny, wimpy George (T.R. Knight) dumps his strong, ranks-climbing wife Callie (Sara Ramirez) for irritatingly neurotic but smoking hot rubia Izzie (Katherine Heigl). If that's not bad enough, the way Callie handled the situation was enough to make us give up on Grey's for good. Grow a pair, m'ija, and show that dishrag George that you don't mess with a Latina.
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, El Cantante. One of the most disturbing uses of a bathtub since The Shining.Not even visualizing Christiano Ronaldo in his boxer shorts will get the image of this pairing out of our heads
Eva Longoria and Victor, her Old Husband, Desperate Housewives. Even though she's been dodging him like he's got leprosy, just the idea of Eva Longoria getting it on with that old dude is enough to make us shudder. Thank Dios, we have plenty of steamy-hot scenes between Eva and Ricardo Antonio Chavira (who plays her ex-husband Carlos) to keep the nightmares at bay.
Feel the Noise. Jennifer Lopez and her record label, Sony BMG teamed up to make this poorly-produced, badly-acted excuse for a movie in which the agenda-pushing is so clear ("let's throw together a movie to increase sales in our reggaeton sector, and slap J. Lo's name on it to give it some cred"), we're actually offended. We can only imagine how much Sony paid indie-king Victor Rasuk to join the cast, but hopefully it was enough to keep Victor doing smart, challenging roles in small films until people forget all about Feel the Noise.
The Univision Network. That's right, we're giving this award not to one particular show on Univision, but the entire network. Univision has built a multi-billion dollar industry out of exploiting production companies in Mexico and Venezuela for content, ripping off mainstream English-language programs, and repurposing them for the Spanish-speaking audience without any regard for quality control or production value. Plus, with a line-up loaded with cheesy telenovelas and second-rate talk shows, Univision isn't doing anything to address the growing numbers of English-speaking Latinos in America, unlike their closest competitor Telemundo, who's sister network mun2 airs some of the coolest shows for and about second-gen Latinos on TV.
Love in the Time of Cholera Sadly, sometimes our best efforts fall below par. A classic novel by Marquez, Javier Bardem in the lead role, and the city of Cartagena, Colombia in the background sounded like ingredients for success. Unfortunately, Love in the Time of Cholera fell short—way short—of expectations. Our resident movie guru Damarys Ocaña summed it up best when she said: "The problem is that the movie is desperately trying to shoehorn that much more interesting story into a soapy lovefest—but then has an actress play Fermina as a doormat who you can't see anyone waiting around for, instead of the vibrant free-spirit she is in the book."