Part-Venezuelan, part-Puerto Rican beauty Monica Joseph-Taylor is one of the stars of TLC’s newest reality show Starter Wives Confidential. The show follows the lives of six women who supported their celebrity men before the now exes made it big. Now breaking her silence, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Funkmaster Flex, and mother of their two children, opened up to us about learning to put herself first, what she won’t talk about on camera, and her NFL crush.
What is your own personal definition of a starter wife?
A starter wife is a woman who pushes the jalopy up the hill with no shoes amongst broken glass in the street while the man is driving and saying, “Don’t worry babe, we’re going to get to the top. We’ll do it together.” That’s a joke, but every starter wife’s experience is a little different. With my ex we built it all together, our businesses, our family, we thought we were taking over the world. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be a starter wife, but it is definitely an uphill battle.
There are a lot of reality shows right now about groups of women like The Real Housewives franchise and Basketball Wives. What reality shows do you watch, and did you take any notes about things to do and not to do?
I just started watching reality shows within the last few weeks. I have a hot temper and it was important not to be perceived that way, so I made a promise to myself and my children that I wasn’t going to fight. I know in the first episode Zakia Baum confronts me and I call security because that was an important day about me. When you do a reality show you sign on to open up your life which is hard enough, but the one thing I was determined not to do was flip tables and act crazy. Not that I didn’t want to!
Yes, in the first episode we definitely see that you’ve got some attitude; do you get that from your Latin roots?
My father would say so which is horrible! We Latin women, we carry a heavy burden. We run the family and there’s a lot that goes on sometimes. I am the typical Latin, kind of hot headed, a little bossy, and I love high heels and looking sexy. I think maybe it is a Latin thing, but that’s not a bad. We’re passionate.
Do you get any other traits from your Latin ancestry that you’re proud of?
Confidence. My ex and I used to joke that Spanish cultures are the only cultures where you watch the news and the women are wearing party dresses. It’s true! She’s talking about the President and her boobs are out and I’m checking out her rack! We’re a little more confident about our bodies and our curves.
You ladies talk about everything from your exes to your sex lives. Is there anything that you wouldn’t want to talk about on camera?
I wouldn’t want to talk about things that affect others in my life. My ex did that to me, and that’s a horrible feeling having someone speak for you. It’s one of the reasons why I did the show.
What does your ex think about you doing the show?
He just doesn’t talk about it. I think it’s definitely different between us now that I make my own decisions and I don’t look to him for approval or a pat on the back.
Do you want to get married again in the future?
Ah! You know, I’m a hopeless romantic. I used to say no because of the problems with marriage. The idea of marriage was great a hundred years ago, but not in today’s society. Years ago when your husband went to work he went to an office made up almost entirely of men, and even if he did want to have an affair he had to meet a woman Wednesdays at noon. There wasn’t texting, you couldn’t email her, you hoped she showed up, you spent an hour and a half together, and it took you four years to get to know her. In 2013 it takes you four days to get to know somebody. Love wasn’t the problem in my marriage; it was all of these other things. I would get married again only if there was a man who was open. Love can be fantastic.
What do you hope viewers learn from the show?
Really this show could be about any woman in America. It’s about learning a new you and all of the things women go through. Some of these women haven’t moved on so well, some have completely moved on, and some haven’t done it properly. I promise anyone watching will see themselves in at least one of these women.
What advice would you give to other women who may be going through a divorce?
The most important thing is to put yourself first. I know there was a time in my life where if someone had said that to me I wouldn’t have known what that meant. I know Latin women who have three kids, a husband, and work, and they get up at five in the morning to cook dinner because when their husbands get home they need to have dinner at the table. I’m tired just thinking about that! Until you put yourself first without guilt you’re not a good mom, friend, daughter, wife, or ex-wife. I think then everything else will fall into place.
The Super Bowl is coming up. Who will you be rooting for?
I actually have a crush on Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, but they’re not in the running so I’m a little bit upset. I think I’ll probably decide the day of.
Check out TLC’s Starter Wives Confidential Tuesdays at 9pm ET beginning January 29th!