Dallas Recap: 'Collateral Damage'

Did you tune in to last night's episode of Dallas? In episode 7, "Collateral Damage" things get a little wild (we're talking lies, kidnapping and paternity tests) and Jesse Metcalfe is adorable. Oh, you want a full recap? Okay let's do this:

So, let us just say that as much as we adore the very beautiful and talented Leonor Varela, her character Marta Del Sol is not helping the Latina loca stereotype! She’s cray y’all (that’s right, I went there. Hey, this is set in Texas –we're allowed at least one "y’all")! But, let’s start from the beginning: 

Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) has decided to play “fair” with John Ross (Josh Henderson), so he gives him back his DVD. He tells him with his most macho face, “I will fight for Southfork and Elena.” In the meantime, Rebecca (Julie Gonzalo) shows up at Elena’s (Jordana Brewster) door with a gift basket thanking her for helping her get to the hospital the other day. How very 50s of her!

We find out she’s already nine weeks along, but that Christopher has not been returning her phone calls. Later on, Christopher goes to Elena with his oh-so sad and needy puppy eyes, but Elena won’t take it and inadvertently tells him that Rebecca is pregnant. He goes to Rebecca and demands a paternity test (ouch!) thinking it’s another one of her ploys. She hits him right back with a “I thought you would be more mature about this considering what your parents did to you.” Okay, two Rebecca – one Christopher.

She eventually apologizes for that sly comment and tells him she knows him best and loves him. He still won’t hear any of it and goes back to Elena asking for a second chance at a relationship.  This time, though, she says it can’t work because he’s going to be a father and because she wants to try things out with John Ross. The last we see of Christopher and Rebecca is when he finds out that he is indeed the father and that it’s going to be twins. That proud and tearful moment was very adorable – thank you, Jesse Metcalfe, for the waterworks.

Now, throughout this storyline, we have Ann (Brenda Strong) acting really sketchy and Bobby (Patrick Duffy) acting really lost. As you recall from last week’s episode, Ann’s ex-husband Harris Ryland (Mitch Pileggi) had sent her some mysterious stuff and ever since then she’s been acting really suspicious to the point that she won’t even talk to Bobby! She even defends Rebecca telling Christopher to give her a second chance! Then you have Harris arresting Bobby for punching him and telling him he’ll drop charges if he just apologizes. With a big sigh and gulp, Bobby apologizes and Harris hand him an envelope with information on Ann’s big secret. Bobby decides not to open it and tells Ann that he trusts her to tell him when she’s ready and throws the envelope into the fireplace. We see a picture of Ann holding a baby burning in the flames. Interesting – does Ann have a child?  

And then last (but certainly not least) we have John Ross who is trying to find a way to drill. He even goes to the lengths of reaching out to his long lost cousin. He tries to strike a deal with her that if she convinces her father (Uncle Gary) into handing over his share of the mineral rights, he’ll share some of the profit with her. This of course does not work, putting John Ross in an uncomfortable position with Vincente Cano (Carlos Vernard) who blackmails him into getting him the oil within a week or he’ll take Southfork from everyone. (If you think about it – this would kind of be the best thing ever.) John Ross divulges some information for more time and tells Vincente all about Marta lying and taking money from him. Vincente promises to get her away from him.

Now, this is when she gets real crazy. Realizing that Vincente is trying to cut her out, she steals Elena’s phone and comes up with a crazy story that she is holding Elena captive in a hotel room. John Ross, of course and on cue, comes charging trying to save her, only to find Marta Del Sol going mad and with a video recorder (what did she really expect? That John Ross would sleep with her. Oh yeah, nothing says sexy-time like “hey, I’m holding your girlfriend captive and might kill her!”). John Ross gets Elena’s phone back and leaves the hotel right before two of Vicente’s men throw her out of the hotel room – killing her.

Petrified, John Ross goes back to Elena on Southfork. Earlier that day, Elena was talking to Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) who convinced her to give John Ross oil from the Henderson site to help him buy more time with Vincente’s deal. The two had a moment and right when you thought it was getting good, the police show up at the house asking John Ross to come to the station since he might be involved in the murder of Marta Del Sol.

So what did you lovely ladies think about this episode? Did Marta freak you out? Is it just us or does Ann really annoy you with her whole “secret” motherhood life? And are we the only ones who miss JR? Let us know and tune in next week!