10 Things Zoe Saldana Can Do With Her Fake Language Skills

Sure, Angelina Jolie may speak several languages… She reportedly speaks French, German, Spanish and Italian, and she even learned Russian while filming the action-thriller Salt.

But Jolie has nothing on Zoë Saldaña… Not only does the 34-year-old Puerto Rican and Dominican actress speak Spanish and English, she also knows the Na’vi language after starring as Neytiri in James Cameron’s blockbuster film Avatar; and she learned Klingon for her role as Uhura in Star Trek Into Darkness, which opens nationwide this weekend.

“I had such a fun time getting to know the language, trying to find it within me to find the tonality, the pronunciation, everything,” said Saldaña about learning Klingon in a recent interview with MSN Canada.

And while Na’vi and Klingon may not be useful in everyday life, here’s a look at 10 ways Saldaña can have a little fun with her useless languages.

 

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Well, It IS Called the Miss Universe Pageant...

Zoë Saldaña should totally host this year’s Miss Universe pageant. Not only could she attract more male viewers by saying lines like “We’ll be right back after these messages” in Klingon, but she could also have a total field day with the contestants. Imagine the looks on the faces of the top five finalists when she asks the ladies that all-important final question in Na’vi. Cue the laugh track!

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The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You…

In 2011, Air New Zealand hired fitness guru Richard Simmons to assist the airline’s leotard-attired crew to deliver a Sweatin’ to the Oldies-inspired pre-flight safety message.  So wethinks Saldaña would totally capture the attention of distracted air travelers when she gives a Star Trek-inspired safety briefing completely in Klingon.

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The State of the UNIVERSE Address…

Typically, the president’s State of the Union address can be somewhat stale… While the message is key, the background can be, well, boring. After all, it’s delivered to a joint session of the U.S. Congress in our nation’s capitol. So why not have Saldaña come in to translate the speech in Na’vi? Fans of Avatar, the highest-grossing film of all time worldwide, would totally tune in, guaranteeing a big audience!

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Sing It, Sister!

Star Trek’s original Captain James T. Kirk, William Shatner, has released several albums during his career. So we’d love to see Saldaña not only follow suit, but also take it a step further. The Afro-Latina beauty, who will be portraying Nina Simone in a biopic about the late pianist, activist and singer, could release a dancetastic album completely in Klingon. It would be totally out of this world!

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Beam Me Up!

A Star Trek-themed amusement park is set to open in the country of Jordan next year. Called the Red Sea Astrarium, the 184-acre site will reportedly feature several attractions, including a state of the art space-flight adventure simulator ride. And since Saldaña portrays communications officer Uhura in the new Star Trek films, it makes total sense for her to be the park’s spokeswoman, recording all of the park’s messages in Klingon!

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Como Se Dice?

According to The Klingon Language Institute’s website, Klingon is “the galaxy’s fastest growing language.” With that in mind, we think the non-profit organization should hire Saldaña as their guest lecturer, of sorts! She could record “Conversational Klingon” tutorials for Bing, who recently added the language to its online translator, to help people learn the “warriors' tongue.” While we’re not die-heard Trekkies, we’d totally watch them!

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Going Once, Going Twice… Sold!

If you’ve ever attended a public auction, you know it’s really, really hard to keep up with the fast-talking auctioneer as he takes bids from people in the audience. So imagine how hilarious it would be to see people trying to even figure out the dollar amount Saldaña is saying when takes over the mic and takes bids in Na’vi!

 

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This Is An Emergency…

You’re sitting in front of the television watching your favorite television show when all of a sudden the station decides to test its national emergency alert system with that annoying high-pitched beeping sound, following by the “This is a test” message. Well, why not have Saldaña record the message in Klingon? That would totally get us to perk up and listen!

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Now That’s Titanic!

Admit it, you’ve watched Titanic at least 10 times. After all, it was the world’s highest-grossing film before it was surpassed at the global box office by another James Cameron film Avatar. Well, here’s a way to close the gap… Have Saldaña dub over Kate Winslet’s character Rose’s lines in Na’vi! Not only would it add a whole new twist to the film, but it would even get our men to watch it with us again without complaining!

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No. 10…

One of the highlights of the Late Show with David Letterman is the talk show host’s regular Top Ten List, especially when he brings in celebrity guests to present the list. Well, we bet Trekkies would totally tune in to see Saldaña give the Top Ten List in Klingon!