Who Would Make a Hotter Charlie's Angel: Penelope Cruz or Rihanna?
01/29/2009 - 18:00 ||
Our heads our still spinning over the rumor that both Penelope Cruz and Rihanna are up for a role in the new Charlie's Angels movie. Both would make amazing (and amazingly hot) action chicas, but who really deserves the part? Let's assess.
Ethnic quotient: Since there are no española angels to date, Penelope would bring added diversity to the cast. Rihanna would, too, so we'll throw her a half-point--but she's from Barbados, and Cameron Diaz already has a little Caribbean in her. By default, a European would actually widen the global appeal in this case. Who woulda thought?!
Tally: Penelope - 1, Rihanna - .5
Badass style: Can you imagine Penelope Cruz in liquid latex pants? Or with star tattoos flecked across her neck? Or with a cyborg babe haircut from the year 2121? Yep, Rihanna wins this by a longshot.
Tally: Penelope - 1, Rihanna - 1.5
Stuntwoman capabilities (weapon-wielding, karate-chopping, etc.): You'd think the more edgily dressed woman would claim this category, but alas, we have never seen any real action out of Rihanna. Don't forget, the girl is only 20! The pop star gets a half-point for always performing in killer 6-inch stilettos--this qualifies as a stunt in and of itself--but that's it. Penelope, on the other hand, was packing major heat with her girl Salma Hayek in that 2006 western chick flick, Bandidas. As softspoken as she is in real life, we can really see her relishing in this role and turning a few evil men into whimpering boys.
Tally: Penelope - 2, Rihanna - 2
Acting chops: Penelope clearly dominates this category by a longshot, since she's got two Oscar nominations and Rihanna has nil experience on the big screen. But everyone knows you don't need to act to star in this movie, so it doesn't count for much! We'll give Pé a half-point for this one.
Tally: Penelope - 2.5, Rihanna - 2
Clique chemistry: Here's where Miss Cruz really pulls ahead. Call us biased if you wish, but if we were to start a group of crimefighting ladies, we'd definitely want Penelope on our team. She'd have our back like she does with Salma, whereas Rihanna is generally seen solo or with her boyfriend, Chris Brown. Would she make a cool friend? Maybe. Do we want to risk our lives for her? Nah. Let's look out for our girl and award 1.5 to Penelope, shall we?
Tally: Penelope - 4, Rihanna - 2
FINAL VERDICT: Penelope by a landslide! Better luck next time, RiRi...and if it's any consolation, there's always the Charlie's Angels soundtrack!