Penelope Cruz is in Sex and the City 2 for just a couple of minutes, as a woman that Mr. Big shamelessly flirts with at a bar, making Carrie anxious that their boring marriage needs serious help. The scene made us wonder: Why in the world would the filmmakers reach out to the gorgeous Oscar-winning actress, who is a huge fan of the first SATC movie, for a barely-there cameo? We don't know the answer to that, but we do know that the movie would have been a lot better with more Penelope in it. Here’s how we would have used her to shake up the City.
1) Have her flirt with Carrie instead of Big. Critics have slammed the movie for its wafer-thin plot. Want to really spice it up? Carrie gets hit on by Penelope at a bar and has an epiphany—she’s actually into girls. We’re betting that would jump-start Mr. Big.
2) Have her become the fifth girlfriend. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda could use a new voice at their white-angst brunch sessions, especially one like Penelope’s, which is blunt and frank in that uniquely European way. At the very least, this would have shaved off at least 45 minutes of the movie. Her advice to them (cue her Spanish accent):
To Charlotte, who suspects her hubby and the gorgeous new nanny may have an affair: Chica, stop baking so many cupcakes and get your own oven going, know what I'm saying? Also, here’s the number for my abuela. She loves kids and needs a job.
To Samantha: The secret to aging gracefully is, well, aging gracefully. Why do you think European women look so good? It isn’t Botox. It’s called grace.
To Carrie: Be honest with yourself. Do you even remember what, aside from his attainability and commitment-phobia, made Big so attractive to you in the first place? Neither can we. One word: Aidan.
To Miranda: Why haven’t you realized yet that you don’t actually want to be a lawyer? You desperately need to run your own spa. First client: you.
3) Have her be their guide to the real Middle East. In the movie, the girls fly to Abu Dhabi in an all-expenses-paid trip sponsored by a sheik. Fancy cars, ridiculously luxurious suites and even more ridiculous couture and jewelry. In real life, Penelope quietly does a crazy amount of charity work (including a one-week stint with Mother Theresa at a leprosy clinic in India). We would have loved to see her character come along on the Middle East trip and show these women the flip side.
So tell us...