1 Q&A with The Dark Knight's Nestor Carbonell
2 Cover Exclusive: Alice Braga, Hollywood's Next Screen Goddess
3 In This Corner: Battle of the Tween Queens

It's no secret that we're supporters of Jessica Alba around here, but let's face it: homegirl needs a hit movie. Now. After the bashing The Eye took at the box office, Jessica's fate is riding on the success of Mike Myers' The Love Guru, in which she plays the female lead opposite the funnyman. The Love Guru is about an American named Pitka, raised by gurus in India, who returns to the West to break into the self-help business. His first task is to reunite a hockey player with his estranged wife—who left him for his rival—in time for the Stanley Cup playoffs. We analyzed the trailer for The Love Guru to gauge it's box office potential, and we hate to say that the prognosis is not good.
Let's start with the fact that it looks totally un-funny. Kind of a problem, considering the film is pinning all its hopes on the idea that Mike Myers will be able to recapture his Austin Powers audience. Unfortunately, it's been nearly a decade since Austin Powers was in vogue, and audience tastes have moved more in the direction of Seth Rogen's everyman style of comedy. Even Will Ferrell is having a hard time keeping his fans with his slap-schtick. Doesn't bode well for Myers, who's last hit film came out six years ago (we're not counting the Shrek series).
And then, onto Jessica, who—in spite of her billing as the film's female lead—seems more like a receptacle for Myers' jokes and innuendo. Sure, she looks pretty, but besides that Jessica comes across as only slightly more animated than the props around her.
The highlight of The Love Guru trailer is a cameo appearance by Justin Timberlake as a woman-stealing hockey player with an French accent, and that has a lot to do with the fact that he's looking mighty fine in a speedo (side note: Jessica Biel is a lucky, lucky girl).
Now, it's hard to call a film based on the trailer alone, so we'll reserve our final judgement for when the film comes out, but considering these two-minute promos are meant to get people interested enough to fork over eleven bucks to see the film, we're worried. Very worried. May be time for you to start looking into endorsement deals or a perfume line, Jessica.
Click here to watch the trailer and tell us what you think about The Love Guru!
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'(emtriana) you have a point about that there's more important stuff in the world than some movie but first of all i like to say to the editors that it's really rude of you saying that (The Love Guru to gauge it's box office potential, and we hate to say that the prognosis is not good.) I think the trailer that i saw was funny....... and sounds like your saying mike myers is not funny or is not recognized anymore..... seems like you need to respect and adore the talent they have (acting) honey!! Jessica and Myers Rock!! :) ' ~*Luna*~, March 29, 2008 - 11:57pm
'You must be joking!!! We really don't care to see the trailer. It was bad enough she was the feature in last months magazine and the cover. Give us a break and discuss something more important. There are more important issues going on in the United States such as an election. You all are pathetic and a joke as editors. Not only would it be a waste of time to view the trailer it would also be a wast of good money to pay to see the movie. Please do some real stories that really matter.' emtriana, March 7, 2008 - 11:41pm