Eva Longoria Pledges to Support Mexican Immigrants, Or Something

At a recent party, Eva Longoria Parker decided it would be a good idea to give an elaborate, wholly uninformed position on the plight of U.S. immigrants, poverty, illiteracy...basically every issue related to Mexico except the one everybody's talking about. Of course, the good folks at Fox News did Longoria no favors and quoted her verbatim.

"First things first, our
country is in a really tough position right now," began the Desperate Housewives star, "and I think definitely
immigration will be addressed and I will be there to make sure that
we're protected." It's unclear whether this means that Longoria plans to look out for undocumented Latinos or become a Texas Ranger, but before a follow-up question can be asked, she eagerly continues:

"It is unfortunate that we
spend so much time as Americans all over the world, and we need to
really focus a lot of our energy on our front porch which is Mexico and
I hope that we'll be able to bring more attention to the a lot of the
poverty and illiteracy and the educational programs in Mexico...
I would definitely love to
help, we're going to be doing a charity in Mexico City next year and
we're going to gather a lot of star power from Mexico and raise a lot
of money for educational programs."

Hey, Eva—Sarah Palin called. She wants her vocab back.