It’s the Puerto Rican Day Parade this Sunday! And you know what that means...
WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! OK, now that we got the “wepa” out of our system, check out our 5 People You’ll Meet at the PR Day Parade. Have fun and be safe, mi gente!
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Captain Puerto Rico
Here he comes to save the day! Captain Puerto Rico is from a far, far away land called the Bronx. Here’s his attire: Air Force Ones with the PR flag on the side, tube socks with the PR Flag on the side, jean shorts, wife beater with the PR flag on the front and back, Puerto Rican flag do-rag, (if he’s ballin’) grills with the PR flag, and the pièce de résistance—he uses the Puerto Rican flag as his cape. Take that, Superman.
The Non-Latino Dirtbag
He isn’t here for the food. He isn’t here for the music. He isn’t here for the pride. He’s just here for the chicas. Be wary, ladies. The Non-Latino Dirtbag trolls around every parade with “Kiss Me, I’m [Enter Ethnicity Here]” t-shirts looking to scoop anything with a skirt.
The Loud & Proud Gay Boricua
You can hear him from Madison Ave. He’s waving the Puerto Rican flag and the Rainbow flag simultaneously. He’s singing, “Que Bonita Bandera,” at the top of his lungs on the parade route. He’s your Loud & Proud Gay Boricua. Y’all Irish Americans should take a page from the boricua parade playbook: let marchers display gay pride messages at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. It’s 2013! It’s time to love everyone equally, coño!
The Walking Bodega
The Puerto Rican Parade always tends to fall on a HOT summer day. Need refreshment? Your friendly Walking Bodega will spot you an ice-cold beverage from his cooler…at a price of course. Dig through the cooler and you’ll find candy, gum, s**t maybe even some expired Goya beans like a real bodega.
They’re the sweetest part of the Puerto Rican Day Parade. The abuelita, the mother and the daughter all partake in a lifelong tradition of exuding boricua pride. No joke, here. This is the main reason the PR Day Parade is important—passing down tradition. Wepa!