10 Ways You Know You’re at a Latino Christmas Party

Christmas is upon us and around the Latina office that means one thing: parties, parties, and more fiestas! First we blazed up a Latino BBQ, then we gave you the blueprint for a Latino Thanksgiving, and now we’re blessing you with 10 Ways You Know You’re at a Latino Christmas Party. Indulge and be merry!


There’s More Than One Person Named Jesús

You have your Tio Jesús. And there’s your primo Chucho. Your pop is Manuel de Jesús. And, of course, you’ve gathered to celebrate the birth of Jesús Christ. Jesús! That’s a whole lotta Jesúses!


Christmas Eve > Christmas Day

The real pachanga goes down on December 24. Dancing, eating, drinking, all of it occurs on Noche Buena. Christmas day is when Latinos get over hangovers relax.


Classic Holiday Spanish Language Music

Sure, we’ll play “Jingle Bells,” “O Christmas Tree,” “Joy to the World,” and other holiday favorites but it’s all about the tunes that’ll make you wanna move. Jose Feliciano’s “Feliz Navidad” is just the tip of the mofongo, Willie Colon and Hector Lavoe’s Asalto Navideño Vol. 1 and 2 are a staple in most Latino Christmas parties. RIP Yomo Toro!


Have a Meaty Christmas!

All Latino Christmas parties have more meat on the menu than an old school butcher shop. You have your roasted chickens and turkeys and, of course, pernil. If you’re lucky your family has a caja china to cook a succulent pig. And what’s more Christmassy than a full pig carcass on the dinner table…nada.  Now eat up, it’s getting cold.


Bottoms Up

In Puerto Rican households, coquito (a better eggnog) is the holiday drink of choice. Yet, wine, beer, cocktails, champagne, well you get the idea, are acceptable and encouraged. Stay thirsty? Never! [But be safe.]


Drunk Dirty Dancing

You know the signs. Your papi has had way too much Chivas Regal Whiskey. He’s eyeing your mom in a way you haven’t seen since, well, last Christmas. Then his favorite Los Tigres Del Norte jam comes on and he proceeds to take your mom for the dance of her life. You don’t want to read this but your dad is totally getting in your mom’s pants tonight.


Midnight Marauders

While non-Latino children sleep on Christmas Eve and wait until Christmas morning to open their presents, Latino children stay up with the grown folks. Just pass by your Titi Maria Luisa as soon as the clock strikes midnight on December 24 and open your gifts.


Bow Down to the Nativity

No tree is complete until The Nativity is gently set underneath it. Your parents will make sure the Nativity scene has all the characters and then some (we don’t remember any iguanas being there). Also, Baby Jesus is sometimes bigger than everyone to emphasize his importance. Big Baby Jesus!


Forced Child Labor

It’s customary for all children at holiday gatherings to sing for the family. For Latino kids, the song of choice is usually, “Mi Burrito Sabanero,” the classic song about a donkey from Bethlehem. Bonus points if your 6-year-old niece can pronounce all the Spanish lyrics and not just the hook.


Two-Week Party!

The festivities begin on December 23 when your family comes in from out of town and stays until Three Kings Day. It’s a two weeks plus of constant family. Dinner on December 24, with family. Breakfast on December 28, with family. A snack on January 3, with family. By January 6, you’re thankful the Three Kings will whisk away you family and also for bringing gifts to Baby Jesus. But most importantly because you’ll finally be alone.