We were really glad to hear that Taco Bell is taking health seriously these days. With their diet-friendly Fresco Menu and healthy gourmet Cantina Bell menu, designed by Latina chef Lorena Garcia, they seemed to be doing pretty well. And then they wanted to do more, so they announced their commitment to better nutrition by promising healthier meals on their menus by 2020.
We rejoiced! And then we thought: wait, 2020?! Why, exactly, is it going to take them a full seven years for them to develop a new nutrition plan that will have “20% of combo meals meet one-third of the federal government’s recommended dietary guidelines,” as we reported on TheLatinKitchen.com.
Thinking that this might be a little too far away, we decided to count all of the things that might happen BEFORE their big menu change. So, here it is: the 20 things that will happen before Taco Bell gets their act together in their new healthier 2020 menu!
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Naya Rivera will star in Glee: 10 Year Reunion concert in 3D: After all of the New Directions kids have graduated high school, college and gone on to their respective careers, the cast and crew will reunite for one last blowout tour. Naturally, that will also be when Naya’s Santana and Heather Morris’ Brittany will get back together and get married live on stage.
We will have a new president & on our way to another: After Barack Obama finishes his second term at the end of 2016, we will have voted in our next U.S. president. Will Hillary Clinton become the first female president? Will Marco Rubio become the nation’s first Latino president? By 2020, the 45th president may already be campaigning for a second term—or we’ll be anxious to elect number 46!
Bella Thorne will have graduated with top honors from Harvard undergrad: That’s right! We’re saying it first with our prediction that currently-15-year-old Cuban actress will have not only conquered TV and movies, but also rocked her gorgeous style at college.
The iPhone X will come out and it may be transparent: At the rate technology is going, in just seven years we might have the first-ever transparent LCD-screen phone, just like it was predicted in the series finale of Weeds. Now, who wouldn’t want one of those?!
James Cameron would have concluded the Avatar trilogy starring Zoë Saldaña: Just 11 years after the first Avatar brought Zoë Saldaña’s fame to greater heights, the trilogy will have come to an end, making James Cameron even richer than he is currently. With any luck, Zoe will be signed on to some Pandora-based prequels that will appear in revolutionary 5-D.
Cuba-US embargo will be (finally!) lifted: Just before the 60th anniversary of the Cuba-US embargo, it will FINALLY be lifted and those of us from the island (or whose families come from the island) will be able to travel there directly without the mountains of paperwork we have to go through now. Yes, this might all actually happen BEFORE Taco Bell’s healthier menu is put in place.
Rico Ridrguez, Ariel Winter, Jaden Smith & Paris Jackson will be 21: Talk about a scary number! The two Modern Family stars, Will Smith’s star-on-the-wise son and Michael Jackson’s daughter will all be celebrating that birthday when you’re legally allowed to drink—and undoubtedly will be up to some crazy antics.
The entire world will be online, according to Google boss: According to Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt, the entire world will be on the internet within seven years. Whether you believe him or think he’s gone off the deep end, that’s a really exciting reality that will keep us waiting less than Taco Bell’s new 2020 plan.
JLo and Marc’s twins Max & Emme will have designed their tween fashion line: Not to be outdone by Madonna’s daughter Lourdes and her Material Girl collection, Max and Emme will have taken their parent’s failed movie El Cantante and turned it into the inspiration for most popular tween fashion line on the planet. They’ll become multimillionaires in their own right, and all before turning 13!
Brazil will become #1 destination after Olympics: After hosting the FIFA World Cup 2014 all over Brazil and the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil is going to become the world’s premiere travel destination. And why not? Between the gorgeous beaches, historic cities, giant waterfalls, giant rainforest—what’s not to love?!
Selena Gomez will have gotten married, divorced & popped out a couple kids: Not that we’re wishing a typical Hollywood marriage and divorce on anyone, but Selena DID recently say that Britney Spears is one of her idols. We’re sure she meant career-wise, but seven years is plenty of time for the former Disney start to grow up, fall in love, have some babies and then, unfortunately, have man issues.
Japan will build a robotic moon base: Currently in the works, Japan is planning to build a robotic lunar outpost by 2020. Whether it’ll happen or not, this is a pretty huge feat. Now, tell me again, why can’t Taco Bell do healthier meals before we have ROBOTS on the moon?
Xtina will be reigning queen, a.k.a. the Randy Jackson, of The Voice: After many seasons, The Voice will follow in American Idol’s footsteps and there will be a mass exodus of the original judges. Christina Aguilera, though, is going to remain loyal and become the Randy Jackson version of AI. Don’t worry, she’ll still look amazing doing it!
California, New Mexico & Texas Latinos will be majority population: As if we need more proof that Latinos are slowly taking over the planet, census data shows that we will become the majority population in California, New Mexico and Texas by 2020. Perhaps Taco Bell should open their healthier menus in those states first?
Pitbull will help turn his kids into the new Jackson 5: It would be no surprise to anyone that Pitbull’s children will have inherited his musical prowess. Once his career starts to fizzle, Mr. Worldwide is going to become Mr. Worldwide Papi and take his kids’ act on the road for what will become the most famous band, well, EVER.
You’ll be too depressed to care: No, seriously. According to the CDC, depression is the most common type of mental illness and they predict that, by 2020, it will be the second leading cause of disability throughout the world, falling only a little bit behind heart disease. Talk about a depressing statistic to be depressed about!
Jennifer Lopez would have staged her farewell tour to coincide with Selena the movie’s 20th anniversary: In a final tribute to the woman who really put her on the map, JLo would have copied Selena’s famous last televised concert at the Houston Astrodome –and then surprised us all that she is retiring from music!
Giant Pandas will be extinct: In some super sad news, there are currently 10 species that are facing extinction. The cutest (in our opinion, anyway) is the giant panda, which is on TIME’s list of 10 species near extinction. We’re hoping that this doesn’t actually come true, though!
Shakira’s baby Milan will be have been accepted for Spain national Olympics team because HE IS THAT GOOD: Shakira and Gerard Piqué’s baby is naturally born with the dance moves and raw futbol talent will make him the first 7-year-old to ever play on a national team—and help them get the gold at the 2020 Summer Olympics. We think: OBVIOUSLY!