Happy birthday, La La Anthony! The Love Playbook author turns 35 today. We're celebrating Anthony's special day by rounding up 12 things we've learned about relationships and love from the beautiful TV personality. Take note, chicas!
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The Ball is in Your Court:
“Women know we have all the power at the end of the day. But it’s about knowing how to use that power and really creating a happy life for yourself, for your household, for your mate. That’s what it’s about.”
On Marriage vs. the Wedding:
"So many people want to get married for the idea of the wedding. You have this big wedding, you have all these people come and so many people are more concerned with the materialist part of it than the actual marriage. Of course when you get married you want to have someone witness the love and long lasting relationships but people are more concerned with the wedding. I say don’t forget about the marriage and what’s really important. Is there love there at the core of your relationship. Weddings are great but then everybody goes home and you’re still stuck with the person you married."
"You have to evaluate your situation. If that’s where you feel like, unfortunately, that’s where it’s going I would not encourage someone to stay in a relationship where they’re not happy. But have you done everything before you’ve gone through that final step? Have you tried therapy? Have you talked to your pastor? Have you talked to family? Have you talked to friends? Have you done everything and they say yes, who am I to encourage someone to stay in a relationship where they’re not happy. And I’ve seen people who have gone through a divorce and they come out stronger and find new love. You have to evaluate the situation. Not just for divorce but for break-ups, make sure you do all the necessary work."
On Being Yourself:
“If you can’t be yourself with a man, you can’t be with that man. That's something I definitely stand strongly by. A lot of people say when you first meet someone you meet their representative; they come in as something else, but the problem with being someone else is you can't keep that up...you might as well just be who you are up front."
On First Dates:
"Here is the number one thing: Do not bring your friends with you to your first date please! Alright? We don’t need tagalongs. Go to the date. Be confident. Bring yourself. I see so many [people] that are like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to meet this guy, it’s my first date. And I’m bringing three of my friends.’ That’s not cool! So let’s not bring tagalongs to our first date, OK?"
On Being an Independent Woman:
"I think a man is attracted to an independent woman. Someone who has their own thing going on. And it’s different forms of being independent. Everybody is not meant to run a Fortune 500 company, that might not be everybody’s dream. But you could have a hobby, you can have something you’re into [in order] to bring to the table. Bring something that makes you valuable to the relationship and make sure you never feel like you have to depend on a man for anything. Have your own. So definitely independence is attractive to a man."
On Communicating with Your Partner:
"You know, I did feel like [I had to show Carmelo things.] In all relationships, that’s what it’s about. It’s a learning experience for both. You want to be able to teach each other things so there are also things he taught me and I was able to teach him things and I feel like that’s what a healthy relationship is about. So you know, at first, he had his ways, and he wasn’t that affectionate and I was like ‘I want someone more affectionate,’ so through love and guiding him, I was able to get him to become more affectionate. You know, you just have to show people what you want and he did the same with me so it worked for us!"
On Having Sex on the First Date:
“The number one rule I did put out is to make them wait a little bit just because they will respect you more and appreciate you more. If you give it all up in the beginning, then what do they have to look forward to?”
On Appreciating Your Partner:
"It’s the most simplest rule ever. Treat people how you want to be treated. I know it’s so like a nursery rhyme, but it’s so true. Letting people know when you appreciate them. It goes so much further than so many other things."
Have Mutual Respect:
"Don't try to change anyone and don't let anyone try to change you."
On Where to Go for a First Date:
"The best place to go on a first date I would say a great restaurant. I wouldn't say a movie because people go to the movies on first dates and you don't even talk you just sit there."
On Finding Love:
"The best place to find love is when you're not looking. I truly believe that. When you work on yourself and love yourself you attract some great energy. So many women feel like they have to find a man to fill a void and then you go looking for all the wrong things so don't look."