If I told you that it pained me to see over half of the Latino finalists get cut from American Idol this week, I'd be flat-out lying. I was thrilled to see these clowns get the boot! All that's left now are two boys who can really go far on the show—Jorge "I L-O-V-E Marc Anthony" Nuñez and Michael "Jason's My Big Bro! Vote for Me!" Castro—and...oh god...Tatiana Del Toro. Let's survey the results of Hollywood Week Part 1, shall we?
Jorge Nunez: I'll say it right here and right now—this boy is Top 10 material, and it is our duty to get him there. He wowed us in his solo audition, and in Hollywood the 20-year-old Carolina, PR native donned a flowing yellow scarf (if he isn't gay, I don't know who is) and delivered a goosebump-inducing 8 seconds of awesomeness. Was it a bit over the top? Sure, but when it's done this well, who cares?
WATCH: Jorge belts his way to the next round!
Michael Castro: Unfortunately this week, we didn't get to hear a peep from Jason's younger hermano. All we we know is that he's through the first Hollywood cut. Good enough for now...
Tatiana Del Toro: This sequin-and-tulle wearing melodrama queen nearly sabotaged her own group and got almost as much face time as Bikini Girl. We almost choked when she made it through to to the next round, but out of all those who don't deserve to still be in contention for Top 36 (ahem, Norman Gentle), she is by far the most entertaining.
WATCH: Tatiana's humble appreciation: "Thank you, Jesus! Thank you so much! The guy holding the sound stick—I love you so much!"
Patricia Lewis Roman: I won't miss Patricia, but I will miss her
family, which proudly embraced every stereotype of a Latin family by
arriving in the dozens, banging on bongos and dancing like there's no
tomorrow. Had she made it, they could've taken over an entire section
of the Kodak Theater! It's really our loss.
Jesus Valenzuela: Pobre Jesus. He only made it to cutthroat Hollywood by the skin of his two sons, whose adorable faces turned the judges into sappy sympathizers. Somewhere between that moment and the next round, Jesus decided to grow icky facial hair and develop a major 'tude. After getting cut for singing a meh rendition of Stevie Wonder's "Lately," Jesus angrily said to the camera, "I need to catch the first flight out of here...I'm done with this." Fine, go then!
WATCH: Patricia's family goodbye and Jesus's not-so-graceful exit.
Monique Garcia Torres: Her far more charismatic younger brother
is the only reason she made it to Hollywood. He couldn't save her this
time, and Idol didn't even bother to show her exit.
Austin Sisneros: Assuming he's Latino, because I'm not quite sure, he lost me at "I make you jump too, and turn a doo-doo." Forgetting the lyrics = FAIL!
Julissa Veloz: 10 seconds of Terrible. She will not be missed.
WATCH (at your own risk): Austin Sisneros fumbles; Julissa Veloz horrifies.