With 29 years of life under my belt and a love for any kind of social event plus a chatty habit of talking up just about anyone, you'd imagine I'd have quite the circle of friends. This, however, is not the case. I walk the line between being an introvert and an extrovert. I love everyone, but don't necessarily like everyone. I have a big network of friends, but mostly folks from my past, dating as far back as preschool. But cut that giant network down to about a dozen people who really, truly "get" me and know me (and that I've actually seen in the last decade) and then cut it down to only one friend I actually speak to on a regular basis. It's not for lack of love or care; I care, but in the life of this frazzled mom, friendship has somehow taken a backseat to family.
I have always been a loner kind of social person. Happy to be at the party but elated to settle back home to some peace and quiet. I think it comes with the territory of being an only child; I love my own company. I don't often care about making new friends because my old friends make me quite happy despite the time or space between us or the lack of communication. However, I have been nagged lately by the idea that I need to show my daughters how to build strong friendships. I believe kids learn most from example, from what they see in their everyday lives. Dessa didn't learn to count through structured lessons; we just count the stairs every time we go up and down.
The same goes for friendships. She won't know the value and beauty of friendships if I don't let her see me put in the time and effort to enjoy and appreciate my friends. Since having kids, I have become a horrible friend. I admit it. I barely answer my phone. Emails are short and sweet, always closing with me running off to attend to a baby. Any friend dates are hurried and always with child(dren) in tow (and friend dates are highly uncommon to begin with). A spare moment presents itself and given the choice, sadly (or perhaps not so sadly), I usually choose to vege on the couch or straighten my hair or visit my favorite blogs or watch a funny movie with my husband.
This whole friendship thing is going to be a tough one for me. I haven't the faintest clue how to squeeze in more time into an already time deprived schedule.
How do you ladies nurture your friendships?