Dimelo: The Real Me (If I Was Interviewed by a Tabloid)


Pauline Campos is every bit the epitome of modern motherhood, complete with a hyphenated cultural identity and mad Spanglish skillz.  While one would expect a lit star of her status to show up for an interview covered in class, Senora C. is instead covered in what appears to be dried mac and cheese noodles on her yoga pants and a splash of what can only hope is chocolate pudding on her T-shirt. This should be interesting.

Trashy, Brainless Mag: It was hard to peg you down for an interview, Ms. Campos! Have you been busy promoting your new column?

Senora C.: Column? Dammit. I knew I missed a deadline. I sat down at my laptop to work last night and got distracted by Zulilly and Twitter. When I woke up this morning, my daughter was foraging for breakfast and using my T-shirt as a napkin.

TBM: Ahhh, explains the, um, choice in apparel today.

Senora C.: Go ahead and say I look like sh*t. I know I do. It’s a wonder I made it here with anything on at all since 90 percent of my laundry is dirty. I got this little ensemble off of the miniscule clean pile of clothes on my bedroom floor. Or, at least I think it was the clean pile.

TBM: *Clearing throat.* Okay then. Let's talk about you and the "Being Allergic to the Mexican" thing.

Senora C.: Yeah, that. *Sighs wistfully* My mother-in-law sent me a text message of a Mexican shrimp cocktail she enjoyed while out to dinner with family last night. I wrote back that I hated her and miss eating shrimp.

TBM: What did she do?

Senora C.: *Blinks* My mother in law? Laughed because she was the one with the cocktail.