Sticks and Stones

This is difficult for me to talk about. But some of you open up to me on occasion, so I’m going to pour my heart out. Last night, I wasn’t feeling well so I decided to go to the local Chinese restaurant and grab a simple soup—eating heavy at night is something I try to stay away from. While waiting in line, a woman trying to get by said, “excuse me.” I think I gave her enough room to pass, but she didn't agree. That’s when things spiraled out of control and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep that night because of it. Our small exchange turned into a horrific argument, with her finally shouting, “You shouldn’t even be eating Chinese food, you fat b***h.” She doesn’t know that I’m in the process of losing weight, or that I was only ordering soup, or that my weight is none of her concern, or that her words hurt me to the core. To make matters worse, when a loved one came to pick me up, they assumed I was on the verge of breaking my diet. This person actually said, “I bet you bought something greasy, didn’t you?” Needless to say, it wasn’t a good evening.

For as long as I can remember, my weight has been a great source of pain. But enduring other people’s reactions to my weight has been even more hurtful. I was the heaviest one in my family and experienced it all, including name-calling and dirty looks. I’m not asking for sympathy, but I do want to make others aware of how they’re speaking to and interacting with overweight people. Instead of spreading negativity, try working out with an overweight person. Encourage them to talk about what they’re going through, and don’t be discouraging. Never tell them they are fat—as long as they are on a journey to losing weight, the word fat should never be mentioned in the same sentence as their name. If they aren’t on that path yet and losing weight isn’t on their agenda, let them know how worried you are about their health, and be sure to tell them you love them very much. If you need to learn more about overeating, check out Overeaters Anonymous. Please consider what you say and how you say it. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it more!