You Shouldn’t Procreate

There was Kurt. The college crush who used to get me all hot and bothered at just the sight of him. It had only been two years since I'd seem him last, but now he looked acabado. But I still greeted him with a quick peck on the cheek and hug. I held the hug a little too long and felt awkward. Why did I do that?!? Perhaps I still wished the best for Kurt. I guess even total a-holes deserve marriage, babies and good health, no?

We detached and I began my event. When Kurt walked back over to me from the bar, I asked what any good businesswoman would: “Did you pay the admission cost?” Kurt lit up with his I-don’t-give-a-damn smile. I stuck out my hand and demanded the seven-dollar entry fee. He looked at me with his honey colored eyes and responded, “Why don’t you find the seven dollars deep in my pocket?” I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue. I wanted to go down deep in his pockets and eliminate him of any baby making abilities! But I didn’t.

Instead, I went home and composed an e-mail to Kurt. I sent him a link from BBC News about a new kind of male contraception. Scientists were seeking couples to test out this new shot, and I figured Kurt could volunteer. The fully reversible injection makes sperm count fall rapidly, and I just couldn’t think of any other man who should avoid procreation more than Kurt! I hit "Send" with a smile, confident that I was totally over him.


Sujeiry Gonzalez