Tainted Love

Something scary happened while I was waiting for Mr. G to contact me last week: My heart began to stomp around my chest like a bratty child and my stomach tossed and tumbled like an acrobat. I felt a weird schoolgirl anxiety for someone other than Mr. G.

The inner rumblings began as soon as my friend from college, Carlos, told me that my ex, Kurt, would be in town for my Lovemionline.com Sex Showcase. I guzzled my drink and pretended not to care. I didn’t want to think that Kurt—the first man who broke my heart, the man who said no after I asked him to be my first and then went limp 11 years after my initial offering—could affect me any more. And I surely didn’t want to see him again. So why were my palms sweaty? It had been two years since the unfortunate limp penis incident, and a year and a half since I angrily texted Kurt, "Don’t ever contact me again!" So why was I tossing and turning in my sleep hours later?

After two years of not caring, I had to question myself. Was all my posturing for show? Could Kurt possibly be The One or was this just a habitual reaction to his name? Has Mr. G just been a distraction from the truth? I didn’t know, and that was the scariest part of all.

xoxo,

Sujeiry
lovemionline.com

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