No Ordinary Love

When my friend Celine spent a semester abroad in college, she came back with amazing tales from Europe filled with friendship and adventure.

A lot of those stories involved Jacob, a fellow American abroad who she immediately hit it off with. They spent sweet nights in Paris together—sightseeing and hitting the clubs—and even traveled to neighboring countries. He was handsome, brilliant and charming and she had the biggest crush on him.

Thing is, Jacob’s gay.

Celine knew this right away, he had even gushed about his long distance boyfriend back home in Connecticut! One night Celine had one too many cocktails and asked Jacob to kiss her.

“Celine, no. I love you, but not like that. You know I’m gay! Go to bed!” was his reply.

The next morning she apologized to Jacob and they laughed about her silly drunk request over brunch.

I never understood her gay crush until last year, when I had one of my own. I felt silly. I was totally flirting with my new gay friend and hoping he’d call on the weekend to hang out. I was completely aware of the fact that he was 100% gay, and the thought of being intimate with him never even crossed my mind. But I still felt those same butterflies I would get when I started to crush.

Has this ever happened to any of you? Have you ever felt warm and fuzzy feelings for a gay man, even though these feelings weren’t sexual?