On My Own?

After my so-called date, I felt myself slipping into a state of lonely stagnation. There I was: a 31-year-old woman with no potential romance in sight, still moping over the Mr. G fiasco. I tried moving forward, planning events and working, but my thoughts returned to feelings of hopelessness.

Then I had a dream. I dreamed that two fish were swimming in a fountain alongside one another. My eyes snapped open and I knew what I had to do to regain faith and move past the bitterness that consumed me. So I grabbed my handy Blackberry and composed the following message.

“I don’t want to cut you out of my life. That’s what I always do when I have lost control and don’t know what to do in a situation. It’s a defense mechanism and it’s unhealthy. It’s my issue so I am turning it around with you. You haven’t hurt me. There have been disappointments but you haven’t hurt me. And that’s why I want you in my life no matter what happens between us.”

I reread the message and quickly typed in Mr. G’s email. I felt so much better. My bitterness evaporated and I felt fluid again, just like the two fish in the pond. I was ready to let go and just flow.