Guilty Displeasure

As honest as I am, I feel really bad saying no. It's an awful habit that usually leads me to overextend myself, or worse, actually agree to something I don't want to do. That was the case with Generous Stranger. I was convinced I wanted nothing to do with the E-popping homie, but how could I ship out when he kept calling?!  He even called back after I had told him my cell battery needed recharging. In 5 minutes or less, my phone rang and his name appeared on my screen. “I shouldn't pick up”, I said to myself. But then I remembered how sad he sounded when I said I'd have to plug in my phone. He took it as a rejection, and I hated making anyone feel bad because I've been in that same situation numerous times. So I gave in to my guilt and picked up.

"I just want you to know that I really like you," Generous Stranger blurted out. "And I know I'll probably never hear from you again, so that's why I'm telling you I think you're amazing and I want to see where this goes," he finished with urgency in his voice.

"Don't worry. I'll call you. But I really do have to go. I'm plugged into the wall," I said in a reassuring voice. "We'll talk soon," I cooed, soothing his bruised ego.

The conversation ended and I soon realized I’d made the situation much worse. Maybe it was my fear of hurting someone or the fact that I hadn't felt wanted in so long, but I just couldn't say no. As much as I knew he wasn't the man for me, I couldn't say no.