Bad Connection

It's been so long since I’ve received an actual phone call that I jump at the sound of a constant ring. With texting as the primary mode of communication, I don't get upset when a man doesn’t call. It used to bother me before, but now I've accepted that when a man says, "I’ll call you" he means, "We’re going to have the deepest 2-hour long SMS conversation!" It's either that or listen to the sound of crickets. 

However, once in a while, a man will bring back the traditions of olden times. I had the pleasure of reliving this ancient practice Saturday night, when my phone sang a strange tune. On the other line was Generous Stranger, whose text I'd been anxiously awaiting. I was pleased that not only had he contacted me 12 hours after we met, but also that he called! It felt great to get a joke without an LOL attached.  But then he said the N word again.

"With me, what you see is what you get," he began confidently. "So like when I called you n****, that’s just how I am. It's a culture and I'm gonna be me," he finished, sticking to his guns.

I paused and thought about what he had just said. With Generous Stranger, the N word wasn’t just a word; it was a lifestyle and "street mentality."  I couldn’t be with a thug! Yes, I live in Washington Heights, NY, which was once drug dealer central, but I have a Masters degree! What did we have in common besides how hot we both were? I didn't know what to say so I did what one does when accustomed to texting. I said my phone was dying. And with that I returned to modern day times. At least for now.



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About this author

Sujeiry Gonzalez, Contributor

Sujeiry Gonzalez is Latina's love and sex expert and the Host of LOVE Sujeiry on SiriusXM (Ch 154). The founder of LoveSujeiry - a brand for love and beauty - and Publisher of is also a Rodan + Fields consultant. Sujeiry has authored two books that help Latinas navigate the world of dating and love (Dating RITE: Advice on Dating Woes from Your Go-to Chica and Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles) and provides dating and beauty advice daily.

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