I am a 36 year-old single mom. I live with my 27 year old boyfriend, my mom and my son. My boyfriend doesn’t care for my mom, nor does he love my son—but he claims to love me and wants to stay together. Prior to meeting him, I was seeing a married man (let’s call him my Old Flame) who left his wife and is now back in town. I have hooked up with the Old Flame twice since he came back into town. Old Flame says he loves me and wants to be with me, get married—the whole nine yards. He is filing for bankruptcy and working two jobs, while my current boyfriend is collecting unemployment and working part-time. Throwing a wrench in the whole situation is that I practice the Afro-Cuban religion known as Santeria (as does my live-in beau), but the Old Flame does not approve of my religion. I’m not sure who I should be with! What should I do?
—Confundida in Newark, NJ
I think you should do a thorough despojo on yourself and your casa, then light seven candles to the siete potencias and ask for immediate help in finding a brand new boyfriend. The way I see it, these two guys are full of bad burundanga and burdened with enough excess baggage to sink the Titanic all over again. Perhaps you need to hacer borrón y cuenta nueva, decide what’s really important and try to find a happy medium without having to choose between la familia, los santos and love.
—Ache pa’ti, m’ija, D
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