My best friend and I have known each other for many years. We do everything together and are there for each other—that is until she gets a boyfriend. Every time a new guy enters her life, our friendship takes a backseat. She won't call me unless he's out of town. Then when they break up, we go back to normal. She's now seeing somebody new while my engagement has fallen apart. I need her and she's not there for me! What can I do?
—Laura in Santa Barbara
Someone once said that good friends are like the stars—you don't always see them but you know they are there. However, when you want some friendly starlight to shine on you, you've got to go out into the open and reach out. Don't wait for her to call you when her boyfriend's busy. If you don't call her, then it's you who fosters this yo-yo friendship. If she doesn't respond when you call, then she's not a best friend, but rather a run-of–the-mill shopping buddy. The sooner you figure this out, the sooner you can move on to finding better friends, or nurturing the ones you already have!
—Friends need to be there, fair weather or not! D