Dolores dice...Baggage Claim

Dear Dolores:

My number one problem in my relationship is my boyfriend’s ex, who is also the mother of his child. She becomes a nuisance when she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She always throws it in his face that their son lives with her, and she needs money for rent and bills and God-only-knows what else! I feel it is going too far, and I don’t know how to stop it. Any tips?

—Maria in Chicago

Dear Maria:

I have one tip: Learn to live with it. When you enter into a serious relationship with someone who has a child, you also enter—one way or another, whether you like it or not—into a relationship with that child. Unless the boyfriend belongs to the legions of deadbeat fathers who don’t give a hoot about their children’s well-being, he will probably always be involved in the kid’s life. And you should encourage him to do so, even if la otra happens to be the ex from hell. I’m sure you wouldn’t want it any other way if you were in the same situation.

—Love the man, help carry his baggage, D