Sad State of the Union

I’ve never liked Jessica Simpson. And lately – as she runs around state fairs gushing about her oh-so-perfect relationship with Mexican QB Tony Romo – she’s seriously been grating on my last nerve. But I have never been so upset over public perception and criticism as I am today. When Ms. Simpson took to the stage at the 99.9 Kiss Country Chili Cookoff in Florida last week, she did so with a blissful unknowing of the media sh*t storm she was about to kick up. Pictures were everywhere in what seemed like minutes, all showcasing Jessica in some unfortunate high-waisted jeans and wide leopard print belt. The outfit was awful. But her body was not. J. Simps has always had an enviable bust line and her curves have fluctuated over the years but have always been slammin’. The girl is hot. And pretty much every guy in America has said so at one time or another. But as Ryan Seacrest broadcasted on the E! network about some “startling photographs of Jessica Simpson,” I wanted to cry. It was as if the girl was caught smoking crack or something equally as “startling.” Words like hefty, fat, and large were thrown around as easily as softballs, with even a New York newspaper, the New York Post, creating a hideously cruel cartoon to mock the artificial situation.

Well, today I am officially a Romo-Simpson fan. And I want to point out that this is why 13-year-old girls are throwing out their bagged lunches in school cafeterias; they are willing to starve themselves in fear of anyone calling them “fat.” Thank you, America. Gracias for illustrating what is truly unbeautiful in this country.